It Is Finished, 40 of 40

So, this will be my last blog entry in my forty blog goal for Lent, which means I have accomplished something. I feel pretty good about that. I am not sure when I will write my next blog entry, but I can almost guarantee that it will not be tomorrow, and for the first time in 40+ days that's okay, I won't have to catch up later or make sure I don't miss too many days so that I can reach my goal. It has been somewhat stressful to write a blog almost every day, but at the same time it has been fulfilling, knowing that I could come up with something to write about, knowing that even in those times that I came to a blank page with no plan I was still able to come up with something on the spot.

That last point, about coming up with something on the spot shouldn't surprise me anymore. As I wrote in a blog some months ago about a year ago I decided to switch up my sermon writing style. Up to that point I had always been a full manuscript writer, as I was taught by Dr. David Sebastian in seminary. From that point on I have lived in a outline world, it takes less time in the planning and more faith in the actual act of preaching. It requires a certain amount of faith in myself to come up with stuff in the moment, this coming from someone who by and large takes a lot of time in thought before they talk about anything. I blame Dr. Willard Reed for the fact that I do think so much before I talk, back in Intro to Philosophy he drilled it into my head that I should think before I speak. Before that class I was a very outspoken kind of guy, I was the one who got my name written on the board for talking in class when I should be quiet.

So, now I think before I talk and force myself to preach from an outline and think on the spot. I think that it has mainly been a success, never have I stood behind the pulpit and been at a loss of words, in addition I have a few congregants that tell me that I keep getting better at preaching, which does make me wonder what they thought of me at first.

Why am I talking about my sermon prep? A subject that I have already mentioned that I have blogged about before? Because I am in the midst of my sermon prep at this very moment, well not this very moment, at this very moment I am typing a blog so I can take a break from my sermon prep, which isn't going very well at the moment. This week is Easter, obviously, and so I feel a little more pressure on getting the sermon right. We should have more people there tomorrow, plus there is the inherent pressure about doing Jesus justice on such an important day. Add to that, tomorrow is my final sermon in my Last Words series, and I would like to end it on a high note.

My sermon will be based on John 19:30 where Jesus cries out his final proclamation from the cross, "It is Finished." Seeing as it is a combination of Good Friday and Easter Sunday my title is 'End to Begin Again.' Last year I talked about it being Friday but that Sunday was on the way, this year I will be talking about how Jesus earthly life is finished but that just propels the life of the Church forward. In other words, to quote Semisonic, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end."

Well, it has been a fun ride for me, I hope it has been for you also. Until the next time I write and you do me the honor of showing up.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

You Call This Good? 39 of 40

A Prayer
A Nap
A Kiss
A Betrayal

you call this good?
why? why?

Standing there
being accused
accused of truth
accused of love

you call this good?
why? why?

First one
then another
then back again
accused of kingship
accused of sonship

you call this good?
why? why?

a friend
the best
I don't know him
I don't know him
I said I don't know him

you call this good?
why? why?

a smack
a punch
a whip
a kick

you call this good?
why? why?

Crucify!
Find no fault
Crucify!
Washed hands
Crucify!
Blood on our Children

you call this good?
why? why?

clothes taken
crown given
Hail the King!
Spit on
and beaten

you call this good?
why? why?

a wooden beam
a cross too heavy
Simon carries wood
while I sin around my neck

you call this good?
why? why?

between two thugs
one cruel
one a believer
paradise today, seems so far away

you call this good?
why? why?

Crucify!
The know not
Crucify!
What they do
Crucify!
Father forgive

you call this good?
why? why?

My God, My God
My father, myself
why have you forsaken?
the prince of peace
the king of love
why have you forsaken?

you call this good?
why? why?

I thirst
I drink
I cry
I die
It is Finished

you call this good?
SO DO I

Random Thoughts from a Random Mind, 38 of 40

So, at this moment I am listening to a preview of Paul Colman's new album on iTunes. So far I like what I am hearing, but we'll see how it goes, whether or not it grips me enough to make a purchase. I have come to this place before and mentioned that I don't really know what to write about, and once again I find myself right there. So this might just be a random collection of things, or maybe some random thing will start me moving somewhere, I guess we'll see.

Psych had its 100th episode on Wednesday, it was based on the movie Clue, and had the actors who played Col. Mustard, Professor Plum, and Miss Scarlet as guest stars. It was pretty good, although I wish I would have seen all the endings run back to back like the movie, but instead they had a vote and I only saw the one ending, where the butler did it, on the west coast the author did it.

I also watched the first episode of Avatar: the Legend of Korra, it is a sequel to Avatar:the Last Airbender. I love the Last Airbender and the first episode of Korra was pretty good, so I will continue to catch up on the show.

Paul Colman just sang a line that said 'If Jesus was preaching today we'd probably just string him up.' To that I say, AMEN!!! It's funny/ironic/sad really, Jesus had his harshest words for those who were the most religious, and I am pretty sure that if he was here today the same would be true. He wouldn't be screaming at those who are "lost" but those who are "found." We are the ones who should know better.

Mary and Henry are in Ohio again, so I am alone in Indiana once again. Since I have the day off from watching Henry tomorrow I think I am going to go see G.I. Joe: Retaliation. I wanted to see that and Oz the Great and Powerful but I don't know if the timing is going to work out, since I still have to go to work tomorrow evening.

I am going to see Derek Webb in concert next Saturday so I am going to be listening to his first album, She Must and Shall Go Free, a lot this week in order to get a refresher course on the lyrics. It is a 10th anniversary of the album concert so he will be playing the whole thing.

I am almost done with Rob Bell's new book, it has taken me a little longer than normal to get through it. The further I get in the more I like the book, I tend to like books that agree with my own thoughts and beliefs. Rob's big points are that God is with, for, and ahead of us. God is with and in us and everything around us at all times. God is for us, on our side, in our corner, rooting us on, believing in us. God is ahead of us, constantly pulling us forward into new truth and life.

I did finally get past that stupid level on Candy Crush and then cruised on another 18 levels, but now I find myself stuck again on 199. It is actually not that complicated of a level, I have just been having a spate of bad luck. I should get past it fairly soon, but who knows, maybe I'll get stuck on a 'easy' one as opposed to the 'hell on earth' one of 181.

Well, the album preview is just about over, so I guess this is as good a place to stop as any.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Kings and Queens (an album lovefest...review), 37 of 40

So, I am not quite sure what to write about this evening. As you may have noticed I am coming up quite quick on the finale of this Lenten discipline of mine. I know there were some people out there that thought I wouldn't be able to accomplish the task [I'm talking to you Kenneth Stephens] but I am glad to know that I am about to prove the naysayers wrong, assuming that I don't go blind, lose my hands, or my hard drive crashes in the next few days, but bar that, or the world ending, or some other thing happening I should finish my 40th blog on Saturday. Of course, to have 40 on Saturday I need to write 37 today 38 tomorrow and 39 on Friday, so that's the plan.

Now, onto other things...

OK, I have a plan for today. I am going to do a track by track review of Audio Adrenaline's new Album Kings and Queens. I am a huge fan of it, so as I have stated in the blogs title, it will be a bit of a lovefest.

He Moves You Move
The album starts off with a real toe-tapper in He Moves You Move. It is an excellent song about the need to follow God's path as opposed to making our own. This has been an especially important song to me recently. I have been trying to figure out the next steps in ministry and life and far too often in the past I have moved and expected God to follow, which God does, because he never leaves us, but I know that I would have been more 'successful' if I had waited for God to move and then followed.

Kings and Queens
The title track, and first single, gets to the heart of Audio Adrenaline's current mission. The band reformed in part to help raise funds and awareness for the Hands and Feet Project [a ministry to Haitian orphans] that Audio founding members Mark Stuart and Will McGinniss helped start. It is a song about the potential that each child has to be Kings and Queens if we are Jesus to the least of these.

Believer
'I want to live this life, unsure, unsafe, but not afraid' with these words Believer kicks off. At base it is a song about having faith. As I have been reminded several times recently we are all people of faith, whether we follow a Christian God, an non-Christian one, or one at all. We all believe in something, this song is a reminder that putting our trust in Jesus allows us to be hopeful in good times as well as bad ones.

King of the Comebacks
If one song encompasses Audio A's new view it would probably be King of the Comebacks, which oddly enough flows quite well with one of their older thoughts that God is a God of the underdogs. King is a fast paced song with lyrics that bring back memories of various songs from Audio's past, much like Word to the Father did from dc Talk's Free at Last album. As I am sure you can tell from the title, the song is about how if God is behind the comeback no one can stop it.

Change My Name
If you know much of Kevin Max's back-story you might just think that this song would be his most personal, and perhaps it is. Beyond that it is a reminder that each one of us have come through times, places, and relationships that we probably wish we hadn't. It is also a reminder that in Christ we are a new creation, free from the burdens of the past, if not the consequences. [On a side-note I think that we Christians would do well to remember that we haven't always been the 'perfect little Christians' that we are now and extend the grace given to others as well.]

20:17 (Raise the Banner)
My favorite line from this song has to be 'with the armies in the back and the singers in the front.' This is a song about the fact that we do not need to be afraid of anything. They sing that we put our weapons down and raise our worship high, this is the real way that Christians should fight, not with weapons of the world or even weapons of faith, but with love and grace and mercy and faith.

Fire Never Sleeps
Fire Never Sleeps is a song asking for God to set us on fire, to give us a purpose and a meaning. It is a good song, but probably my least favorite.

Seeker
So often in the church we talk about being seeker-sensitive, meaning that we want to reach people who are not in church, people off the streets. What I love about this song is that it puts the seeker label on God and talks about how God is continually seeking us out. It is a good reminder that 'This is God, father to the fatherless, defender of the weak.'

I Climb the Mountain
'I Climb the Mountain and I'll hold the light until we are a city on a hill.' We as the church are meant to shine a light onto the wider world, unfortunately by and large we merely shine a light in our own faces. The song tells us that we each need to shine our lights out until we can collective shine them.

The Answer
The album closer is a declaration that nothing is going to satisfy us except Jesus, because as the chorus goes, 'You are the answer, I know it's true cause I've tried it all.' Jesus doesn't promise us a perfect life free from struggle or pain, but he does tell us that if we follow him we will have a life that fuller than the one we would live without him, fuller of love, fuller of hope, fuller of strength, fuller of grace and mercy.

I absolutely love this album. If you ever loved Audio Adrenaline you should give it a try. If you never did, you should give it a try as well. A month from yesterday and I'll be in Fort Wayne seeing them in concert and I can't wait.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

A funny thing happened on the way to Facebook, 36 of 40

So, it came to a point yesterday that I was wondering how many people had wished me a happy birthday on Facebook. One of my favorite things about Facebook is that on my birthday a lot of people usually celebrate me, I am a big fan of me, so I like it when people realize how special I really am. Anyway, I decide to log onto Facebook via my app on my phone and lo and behold there were four people who had wished me a happy birthday, and all of them were family. It may be needless to say, but I was pretty disappointed, in other years there would be a bunch of people telling me happy birthday, and it's not like I checked really early in the day, it was around 4 o'clock and no friends had mentioned my birthday.

Another hour or so later I came upstairs to see if my app just wasn't uploading correctly, it does that a lot more than I would prefer. I decided to power on my laptop and check there, alas there were still only the four mentions. I felt a little depressed, and wondered why no one was wishing me happy birthday. I went to my timeline and checked and it turns out that I had my birthday hidden from the world. Mystery solved, but why did I do that?

At first I didn't remember, but then it came to me. Last year, if memory serves it was September or October my email got hacked. I started getting some weird emails and an email or two was sent from me to various friends. At that point I decided to jettison that email and start changing my various passwords and privacy settings across the board. Hence, when I changed my Facebook password and privacy settings my birthday disappeared from public consumption.

I thus made my birthday public again and the well wishers started pouring in. Which just goes to show you that people may just not have the information they need in order to praise you as opposed to just not caring about you at all.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

p.s. It also goes to show you that you should make sure you change your passwords occasionally and make sure no more information is getting out into the world than you want.

Vote Stephens in 2016, 35 of 40

So, there is a nice piece of serendipity (Scott Rees) that this blog is number 35 in this Lenten series. Today is my birthday, my 35th birthday to be exact. I am not sure how many of you have this piece of knowledge floating around in your brain matter but I am now eligible to run for President. To that end I am announcing my write-in candidacy for President in 2016.

I do not make this announcement flippantly (except that I do). I have been in serious thought (nope) and prayer (not once) about this decision for years (or just a day or two). I do have a passion for politics (I have even lost a few Facebook friends over politics, and by lost I mean I unfriended them) and have some strong views on a multitude of subjects. Among them the color of M & M's, I prefer Blue.

I am sure that many of you may not agree with me politically, but I am hoping that I can pimp our friendship for your votes. And if that doesn't work by itself I am not against giving each person a sub-cabinet position that does not require Congressional approval. If neither of those are possible I am willing to consider releasing you of your tax obligation for the duration of my presidency, perhaps longer if you are willing to blow up an oncoming asteroid the size of Texas.

I see myself as a cross between Harrison Ford in the movie Air Force One and Martin Sheen in the West Wing. Sheen politically and Ford action hero wise. And while we are on the subject while I have learned that there is not an escape pod on the plane, I would implement an upgrade.

I believe in the Constitution and Bill of Rights, by and large, and would gladly defend the parts of them that I agree with and do my best to change the parts I do not.

As President I would put an end to welcoming the champions of various athletic competitions unless I really liked the team, and would be willing to ban the Cowboys and Jets from participating in the NFL.

As President I would also allow a random sampling of Americans who agree with me to spend one night in the Lincoln Bedroom or at Camp David, winners choice.

To end, I am asking for you vote, for your support, and for your money, because unlike every other person who runs for the office, I am by no means wealthy, and since I am a Pacifist I don't even own a war chest.

Thank you for your consideration.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Are you Thirsty? 34 of 40

So, I totally meant to write this one yesterday, but I had some family come and visit and my timetable shifted on me a bit. In other words I completely forgot about my blog yesterday. To that end this will be 1 of 2 today, because I have been planning a blog especially for today, so I will write that one next. This is my, what has become weekly, sermon preview blog. Of course, since I am writing it Sunday afternoon as opposed to Saturday evening my sermon has already been given, so this is a preview/postview I guess, even though postview is not a word.

Today was week three of my Lenten series, Last Words, about some of the final things Jesus said from the cross. This week we were in John 19:28-29, which includes Jesus saying "I am thirsty." There are a few different ways to look at this statement.

First you can look at it the way the author of John does, in other words you could say that Jesus said it to fulfill a piece of scripture. The nearest we can get to a scripture that is fulfilled is Psalm 69:22 which says 'I was thirsty and they gave me vinegar to drink.' The problem is that the overall Psalm has no real prophetic quality to it, so why would this one verse? In addition while the other gospel writers include Jesus being given a drink of wine-vinegar, they show it being given by mocking soldiers, not ones honoring a request.

Another way to look at it, as some scholars do, is to say that Jesus merely needed a bit of liquid for his dry mouth so he could utter his next statement in verse 30, "It is finished." Personally I don't like that view because it gives little meaning to "I am thirsty." I tend to think of each of Jesus' final statements being more meaningful, after all when people are in the midst of dying they rarely utter more than they need to, sometimes it is as simple as one word, say, "rosebud."

Instead I choose to look at this statement in conjunction with another time Jesus asks for a drink in John, namely chapter 4. Here Jesus encounters a Samaritan woman at a well, asks her for a drink and proceeds to tell her that there is a water that you can drink and will not make you thirsty again. I tend to think that Jesus, at least in part, is letting us know a similar thing from the cross.

This leads me to ask two questions: 1) are you thirsty? and 2) what are you thirsty for?

Are you thirsty? Are you in a moment of pain, or doubt, or worry, or fear; are you wanting to know what is coming around the next bend? Are you wondering if you’ll find a new job, or where you’re going to be living in a few months, or how you’re going to pay for the next prescription or the next surgery or the next bill, the next whatever? If any of this is true of you then you may be thirsty.

What are you thirsty for? In each moment we have a thirst for something, for money, for a job, for a house, for peace, for healing, for hope, for strength.

The next question we need to then ask is: Do you take it to the Lord? Do you? When things aren't going the way you need them to, do you pray about it? Do you share with God, or just friends, family?

What do you need right now, not want, God’s not in the wants business, but God is in the needs business. And if God supplies the need will it be enough?

Jesus was thirsty and he was given a drink, it might not have been the drink he wanted, but it was still a drink

If we ask for a job, we might get the part-time one instead of the full-time one. If we need a house it might be the apartment instead of the 4 bedroom one with the two car garage and a pool. If we're thirsty we might get a coffee instead of a tall, skinny, non-fat, mocha, loco, latte whatever. AND WILL THAT BE GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU? So often we want the bigger and better and we are given the smaller and simpler and we are ungrateful. But, again, God is in the needs business not the wants business.

Are you open to what God gives, and how God gives, or are you wanting it your way in your time?

Before the cross and the beatings and the trial and the denials and the betrayal, Jesus prayed that the cup would pass, but it did not, so Jesus drank what was given to him and accomplished all that he needed to accomplish, will we do the same?

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

Fathers and Sons, 33 of 40

So, here I am at 7:01 in the morning and I am currently writing this blog on my phone because Henry is asleep on my chest, and before you mention it, yes I know it is not good for him to sleep on me. I know this because some visiting nurse in our Pre-Natal (about to have a baby) class told us a cautionary tale about a friend who ha his daughter sleep on his chest and when he woke up she did not. But Henry had had more congestion and was uncomfortable sleeping in his car seat at 6 so I put him on my chest, sue me.

On the bright side his sleeping there has inspired this particular blog, because as he sleeps there, breathing deeply and raspy at the same time I am looking down at the little kid and find myself staring at his little hands. It's crazy to think that it has already been 4 months. On one hand it feels like Henry belongs here but on the other hand it feels like he just got here yesterday. Add to that the fact that it seems like every morning he has grown a little in his sleep, which I suppose very well may be true.

Right before my eyes my newborn turned into an infant and is now well in his way to being a toddler, it is amazing and scary at the exact same time. Soon he'll be crawling and walking and talking and asking to borrow the car do he can take his girlfriend to the movies, if there are still movie theaters in 16 years.

Anyway, I lay here looking at my big little guy (Or is it little big guy? I can't make up my mind) and his hands and I find myself wondering if my dad ever did the exact same thing with me. I imagine that if he did it would have been a different experience for him. After all I was the fourth child of his, following my half-sister, half-brother, and my full sister. I hope that there was a bit of wonder but I also find myself thinking that there might have been a bit of sadness too. You see my dad was diagnosed with his cancer about the same time I was born, so my dad knew I would be the last kid, and knew that he most likely wouldn't see me grow up, I can't imagine what that was like.

My mom tells me that he worried that I wouldn't really remember him, and to a large extent that is true. At this point I have more memories of memories than I do actual memories. By this I mean that remember remembering times with my dad. I remember the time when I could picture him in my mind. I remember remembering the time he kicked the basement door, putting a hole in it. I remember the time when I could see him in his bed at home when he wasn't doing well toward the end. I can almost picture him lifting me out of the snow when I was just a few years old, but with each year the image gets a little less clear a little less real, as if its that scene in Back to the Future when Marty's picture starts fading.

My grandfather died before I was born, my father died when I was 5 and one of my great fears in life has always been that I would not see my kid(s) grow up. Almost every time I look at Henry I pray that it won't happen to me, that I will see Henry as a young man and then as an older one before I move onto the next place, more than anything I think it helps me realize the importance of these moments when I can just start at his little hands and wonder what life has for him. I know he is going to be great, maybe not famous or rich or powerful, but great none-the-less, because I will pour as much love as possible for as long as possible into his life.

I will never know whether my dad would be proud of me today, so for as long as I have I will always tell Henry that I am proud of him, even if he can't understand the words I am saying yet.

Peace and love,
Pastor K

Talking, Candy, Concerts and other bits of Random, 32 of 40

Talking

So, I am not really sure what I am going to write about today. It was cold here in Indiana, very bright, but very cold and so Henry and I stayed inside all day. We stayed inside and stayed in our pajamas all day, so not much really happened. I watched a little Avengers, Ultimate Spider-man, and Phineas and Ferb while Henry mainly played with a taggie blanket, an elephant rattle, and his burp cloth. Henry has started talking, well, not really talking, more like somewhere in between a babble and a screech, something I refer to as a screbble. It is pretty humorous and not very high pitched so I am quite all right with it. Mary and I are beginning to think that we may have a child with the gift for gab, but I suppose time will tell.

Candy

I am totally stuck on level 181 of Candy Crush, I know how to beat it but have gotten no where near doing it. I am hoping by mentioning my stuckness it may help me to get unstuck, it did last time.

Concerts

I did buy two concert tickets today. I am going to a house show on April 6th here in Anderson to see Derek Webb. He is doing  limited run of concerts for the 10th Anniversary of his first solo CD, She Must and Shall Go Free. I was kinda shocked that he was coming to Anderson to do one, since it is so limited, but I am very happy that I will be able to attend. I am hoping he may play a song or two from his yet to be released next album, I was wrong, I'm sorry and I love you, which is a thematic follow up.

I will also be attending Audio Adrenaline's concert in Fort Wayne on April 26th. This will be my 4th Audio A concert, but it will be, obviously, my first with their new lineup. I am really looking forward to seeing them live and here the new songs from Kings & Queens as well as some reinterpretation of some of their old stuff with Kevin Max on vocals. Both concerts should be very good, though they will be opposites of each other in a lot of ways. Derek's will be in a small venue (a house) and will probably be just him, or at most a couple of people with him, while Audio A's will be in a much larger and louder venue and be a good ole' rock n roll show.

Unspoken prayer request

In other news I would appreciate some prayers from you guys and gals, can't really talk about why I need them, but if I ever learn anything positive I will let you guys know, if its negative I will probably let you know that to, it will just be in cryptic ways.

Well, I suppose that may be it for tonight, like I said nothing real life changing today. Hope yours went well.

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

Why so Bad? 31 of 40

So, my birthday is coming up and with it came time to renew my driver's licence. To that end I went down to the BMV this morning and got it renewed. I have to say that I have had some bad photo id pics before, but I am pretty sure that my new one takes the cake. There are three things that contributed to such an awful picture, 1) I was not allowed to wear my glasses, 2) I was not allowed to smile, and 3) the blue dot that I was supposed to look at during the picture was about 2 feet closer to the ground than my eyes. All of that contributed to a picture that makes me look like a chubby, pissed off, drug dealer, on the negative side anyone who ever sees it would never guess I was a pastor, on the bright side anyone who ever sees it will never mess with me ever again for fear I will sick my fellow drug dealers after them.

Which reminds me of this time I was at work at Family Video and a customer in his early twenties asked me to help find him a game. I went back in the game room with him and he gave me this weird look and said, "I know you man, don't I?"

I replied, "Only from here."

"No, man, I now I know you, I used to be weed from you man."

"Um, no, sorry, you have the wrong guy."

"Didn't you go to Highland man?"

"No, went to High School in West Virginia."

"Whatever man, play it cool if you want, but I know I used to buy weed from you."

It wouldn't have surprised me to learn that he had been using said weed right before he came into my store looking for that game, which he should have been able to find had his brain not been addled from, what I assume was, massive drug use.

I tell you that story just so you know that not only do I take a photo id pic that makes me look like a drug dealer, according to this guy I resemble a particular drug dealer as well.

You know, there was this one time when I had a picture taken for a photo id and I actually thought I looked good, its too bad that I can't just use that one picture forever, sure it was for my college id about 15 years ago or so, but still I looked good, and I in no way resembled a chubby, pissed off, drug dealer.

I hope that your photo id looks a heck of a lot better than mine.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Tabula Rasa 30 of 40

So, here we are beginning the final quarter of my Lenten discipline. There have been highs and lows so far, but I hope that you, my reader, have found my thoughts encouraging, funny, and perhaps a little thought provoking at times. Today Mary told me that someone told her that they read my blog and said that I was 'gutsy.' I like the concept, even if I don't necessarily agree with the evaluation. I only set out to say something, and sometimes what I have to say is a little fringe like, but I don't set out to be controversial or courageous. If you knew the amount of posts I write and never publish, if you knew the content of them, you would realize that there are at least as many times I walk away from possible confrontations as the times that I rush headlong into them.

You see, there are a multitude of issues that I would love to write about and share, topics that I believe the church has missed the boat on, or at the very, least topics that we are languishing on. I had a conversation with someone not too long ago when we collectively decided that the church as a whole is roughly 50 years behind the culture. Some of you may be thinking that it is a good thing, but that is not how either of us meant it. When I say that we are 50 years behind I am saying that our culture is ahead of us morally from time to time, or at least segments of the population are.

I tend to think that we are so far behind on certain issues because of a mixture of being comfortable and being fearful. We know where we are, we like the surroundings, and we like the people we surround our churches with. We know what we need to do to accomplish the same things we have been accomplishing, and the amount of people who no longer grace our doors with their presence doesn't concern us nearly as much as it should. When certain historians and theologians start tossing out words like post-Christian perhaps it is time that we redefine what it means to be Christian in this day and this age, not vilify those Christians who are on the fringe.

There is a song by Relient K named Down in Flames that contains the lyrics 'We're cannibals, we watch our brothers fall, we eat our own, the bones and all.' And to be honest I don't know if truer words exist when we are discussing the attitude of the 21st Century American Church and its way of business with anyone who begins to question the status quo. As I mentioned a paragraph before, I feel that we do this because of fear. Fear that our power will wane. Fear that our big money donors might go to a different church. Fear that we'll lose our jobs or our status. Fear that if we let them in everything will start to crumble and fall.

Let me tell you something, if we're being honest, really honest, we're already crumbling and falling. We're already losing people to other churches for reasons as silly as the color of the carpet and the amount of praise songs vs. hymns we sing on a Sunday morning. We're already losing our power and our status because of the length of a sermon or the push for a tithe. Maybe it's time that we start losing people for things that count eternally. Maybe we should start losing our power and our status for the sake of love, mercy, grace, forgiveness. It drove Jesus to a cross, it drove MLK Jr. to a balcony, it drove Mother Teresa to skid row, where will it drive you? me? us?

I don't have all the answers for the church, I find it hard enough to find answers for myself sometimes. But maybe where we can start is with a Tabula Rasa, a new Blank Slate, where we stop trying to do church like we've been doing church for the past 20,200 or even 2000 years and start trying to figure out what Jesus needs for us to do today. It may mean we have to change everything, some have suggested that, but maybe if we start doing most of the things we already do better, then we will see change, in our pews, in our hearts, in our lives.

It's funny, I set out to convince you I am not gutsy, and instead have opened myself to wondering if I am.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Love Jesus, 29 of 40

So, a few years ago I thought about putting this up anonymously around Seminary. It was during a time when multiple wars were starting and people, both outside of and inside of the church were beginning to preach vengeance and hate a little more and grace and love a little less. Since then I have seen our world become ever more divided and divisive, and so I now post it here. It was true then, it is true now, and if we are to call ourselves Christians, literally little Christs, then perhaps we need to start loving the people Jesus loves.

I love Bin Laden and you should too
I love Saddam and you should too
I love the righteous and you should too
I love sinners and you should too
I love straights and you should too
I love gays and you should too
I love Catholics and you should too
I love Protestants and you should too
I even love Evangelicals and Fundamentalists

I love Americans and you should too
I love Iraqis and you should too
I love truth seekers and you should too
I love liars and you should too
I love all races and you should too
I love all ages and you should too
I love those that love and you should too
I love haters and you should too
I even love the lukewarm among you

I love conservatives and you should too
I love liberals and you should too
I love Republicans and you should too
I love Democrats and you should too
I love Independents and you should too
I love Muslims and you should too
I love Jews and you should too
I love Hindus and you should too
I even love Atheists and Agnostics

I love pacifists and you should too
I love war hawks and you should too
I love women preachers and you should too
I love male preachers and you should too
I love singleness and you should too
I love marriages and you should too
I love lifelong love and you should too
I love divorcees and you should too
I even love you, and you should too

sincerely,
Jesus

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Update: Forgiveness, 28 of 40

So, this would be another sermon preview blog.

But first my regular update. Henry has been doing quite a bit better today, he's getting back to his happy self. We went to Ohio last night to begin celebrating my mother-in-law, Janice's birthday. It's Monday, but her and Bob are going out of town so we visited last night and then went out to lunch today. Then we went shopping and came home. Other than that, not much happened.

Now, onto other things, like forgiveness...

If I was preaching my sermon in certain churches tomorrow morning I feel that there might be a possibility of being fired on the spot. Some people just have a very strict view of forgiveness and my sermon is pretty much going to blow up that possibility. I am pretty sure I mentioned that I am currently preaching a series on the Last Words Jesus spoke from the cross. Last week I preached on Mark 15:33-41, where Jesus cries out, "My God, My God why have you forsaken me?" This week we are in Luke 23:33-38, which includes Jesus saying, "Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.'

Jesus forgives 3 groups, soldiers, the crowd, and the rulers, before they ever ask for forgiveness. And, ready for your mind to blown, intercedes on their behalf before they even do what he forgives them for.

Think about that for a moment.

He forgives them before they ever utter a word or begin an action, before they sin.

What this tells me, is that Jesus forgives us before we ask for forgiveness as well. Jesus forgives me before I sin. Jesus forgives you before you ever ask.

Now, there are still things we need to do, but they are for our benefit much more than they are for God's. We still have to accept the forgiveness, to unchain us from the pain, to free us to live, and to empower us to also forgive. And forgive we must, because we are still to pray 'forgive us as we forgive others.' We still have to give a response, we still have to make changes, we still have to repent, but not in order for God to forgive us, we do those things in order for us to know we are forgiven.

What Jesus does on the cross has meaning, meaning for you and for me, and what he does up there accomplishes the task, not opens the possibility for the task to be accomplished later on. That is amazing love, that is holy, that is mercy and grace, that is what Jesus does.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Update:
Since I finished this blog I have been thinking more about it. I want to clarify something. It dawns on me that I may be putting entirely too much emphasis on this one moment in time, this one sentence in a book of 66 books. I have lambasted people for doing the exact same thing. So, I could be wrong, maybe this was a one time thing, maybe I am reading too much into it. Maybe we are not forgiven before we ask for it, maybe we are not forgiven before we sin, but what if? What if we are?

A Letter to my Atheist Friends, 27 of 40

So, Henry had his 4 month vaccines this morning, he didn't like them at all, but he calmed down and fell asleep soon after. Unfortunately when he woke up and for most of the day since he has had a small fever and has been pretty fussy. For those of you who know Henry the fussiness is quite a bit out of character. I called the doctor and was told that we were taking the correct steps and that his fever is a good sign that his immune system is working, but it's still difficult not being able to do more for him.

I did come up with a new little song for Henry earlier when I was attempting to soothe his cries. It goes a little something like this:

It's okay little guy
it's okay
We're going to make it
through today
You can cry and you can scream
You can pout and you can dream
It's okay little guy
it's okay

Well, onto other things...

Last night I had a conversation with a customer/friend at work. Paul, not his real name, is a really good guy. We were cordial for awhile, but we moved past a mere customer service representative/customer relationship one evening when he came in with a newly bald head. Turned out that Paul was going through chemo for a bout of cancer.

The reason we bonded was because I had a scare with the same form of cancer when I was a freshman in college. I got out of it with just a biopsy and some tense days of waiting for the results. Paul wasn't so lucky. Thankfully the chemo and other medicine/surgery did its job and Paul is now cancer free. In addition my dad died from cancer when I was 5, so me and Paul are now a little closer.

I prayed for Paul when he was sick and I rejoiced when I learned he was cancer free. As I said, our relationship has been pretty friendly for quite some time now and from time to time, when he comes in and I'm not busy, we talk.

Last night Paul came in and we started talking about the new Pope. He asked me what I thought and I said that I was unsure. I told him that Mary paid more attention but from what I heard and read it seems like he might have some unsavory connections. We talked a little about what kind of man can become Pope and we both agreed that politics plays a large role and that often the most pious individual is not chosen. Paul then he told me how at the age of 17 he had converted to Catholicism. He then told me how some people claim to prove God exists and others claim to prove the opposite. He said that he has never understood this and when he was younger he went to his Priest and asked him about it. The Priest's response was, 'You just have to have faith.'

The answer left Paul with an uneasy feeling, it just wasn't good enough. He asked, rhetorically, isn't the way we are made that we are constantly seeking truth? He finished his story by telling me that he was now a born-again atheist, and he said that he now lives with a lot less fear than when he believed.

He then said that he knew it wasn't that way for everyone, he said he was sure that I, a pastor, found comfort in my faith. I told him that I did, but that I have a more open view of who God is. That is where our conversation ended, because another customer came up and Paul decided to take his leave.

So, now I would like to share how my part of the conversation would have went if we had continued. I want to say this to Paul, but not just him. I am aware, thanks to my Facebook news feed, that I have several other friends who are atheists, and I wish they could read what I am about to write. To let them know that not all Christians think the same, and that God might not be who they think God is.

[2 quick asides before I continue. 1) I understand that people don't believe in God for a multitude of reasons. At base what I have to say is aimed at those who used to believe but have been driven away by someone, some group, or some idea within the established church. 2) I am currently reading Rob Bell's new book What We Talk About When We Talk About God, and while I am only part way through, I believe that this book may also be of help for people who feel God may not be who they have been told.]

Back to the rest of the conversation...

'Paul, I have a few responses.'

'First off, if anyone ever tells you they have proven that God doesn't exist they are not telling the truth. There is no definitive way to prove that God doesn't exist. [after all how in the world do you prove the absence of something that is supposedly beyond our current existence?] In addition, if anyone ever tells you that they have proven that God exists, again they are lying to you. There is no deifinitive way to prove God does exist. [afterall a miracle is only a miracle to a believer] In both cases they are only statements of FAITH. One says that their experience of God proves something, the other that their experience of science proves something.'

'You see the first lie that many people tell you is that God and Science are at odds, there is no truth to this. The people who say that the science in the Bible is not right are telling the truth, but the Bible is not meant to be a science book. And the people who tell you that the world is only 6000 years old because of Biblical chronology are wrong, because, say it with me, the Bible is not meant to be a science book, or even a history book, except for a few of the books within it.'

'Perhaps a few examples of how I think God and science may work together. First, I don't know if evolution is or is not true, but which ever the case it doesn not preclude God's involvement. God could well choose to work throught the process of evolution, in fact I had a professor in college who thought just that. Or, what about the Big Bang? According to scientists there is an element of the Big Bang still present in the static on the T.V. or radio. But why couldn't have God decided to create by Big Bang? Maybe God did, maybe God didn't but the truth of the matter is I don't know, and niether does anyone else.'

'Secondly, I completely agree that we are made to seek out greater amounts of truth, I would simply use the word designed instead. I believe that if God created us this way it is so we WOULD QUESTION EVERYTHING. Yes, we do have to take certain things on faith, but only those things that make sense to us to believe.'

'Third, I am sorry that the church, no matter its title, sold you a bill of goods that was attached to any amount of fear. Over and over again there are quotes in the Bible that say, "Fear Not." Yet there have been an untold number of people who have used fear as a motivating factor in order to get a faith commitment. Too many people have used the 'TURN OR BURN' argument. too many people have turned God into a boogeyman. The God I believe in is not a boogeyman. The God that Jesus shows me is a God of grace and forgiveness, or mercy and love, or acceptance and peace, of joy and kindness. God is not out to get you or punish you or scare you, God is out to love you.'

'I do not say this to get you to come to my church or to any church. It doesn't matter if you ever get baptized or give a monthly tithe. I don't care about the amount of buts in the pews. But I do believe that Jesus came so that we might have life, a life that is able to be lived to the full. I believe that your life would be better if you believed in Jesus and followed his teachings. In addition I believe that the world would be a better, more peaceful, more loving, more accepting, more graceful place if more people followed Jesus.'

'I respect your decision to not follow or believe, and who knows, if your path had been my path maybe I would feel as you do. I was lucky enough to have teachers, in college, seminary, and the church that had open minds. Teachers who told me that God was big enough to take my questions. Teachers who told me that God's love was big enough to take my doubts. I am a better pastor and believer because of them.'

Right now, I pray that my words would mean something to you, but more than that I pray that God would mean something to you, because I believe that you already mean a lot to God.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

P.S. sometimes I wonder if God isn't looking down on all of us and singing a similar song to each of us that I sang to Henry.

It's okay little guy
it's okay
It's okay little girl
it's okay

The Never-ending Circle of Sick, 26 of 40

So, for the past month or so the Stephens' household has been a bastion of sickness. It all started with Henry catching a cold and then he passed it to me, except I had it much worse, then I passed it back to him. This time Henry was cough/choking so we brought him to the doctor and had to pick up his first prescription. Now Henry has passed it on to Mary. She started feeling icky a few days ago, but it took a turn for the worse last night and so today she is home sick. I would not be surprised in the least if she was home sick tomorrow as well, but I guess we'll see.

In a way its all a little funny, because I used to think that certain people just had houses that were laced with the flu bug. I mean, I remember hearing about several families with babies or small children and it seemed that someone was always sick. I used to think it was all a bit ridiculous, but lo and behold, it has now come to my house. I suppose that it is a normal consequence of living in a confined space with people who are sick, for instance, I am pretty sure Henry gave it to me when he sneezed directly in my face one day while I was holding him. And I probably gave it back one night when I coughed in his accidentally when I was holding him. Now Mary probably has it because he gave it to her while she was holding him.

But, really, what are you going to do? Not hold your sick baby? Of course not, so you hold him/her and get sneezed on or coughed on and you get sick, and then the circle just starts up again.

Currently I am just hoping that this particular circle will stop with Mary. Hopefully she won't accidentally sneeze or cough on Henry and then Henry won't pass it back to me, and we will be able to move on from this cycle of violence, I mean sickness.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Snow Days and Video Games, 25 of 40

So, I am trying a new thing, writing my blog out in a notebook whenever I get an idea and then later transposing it onto the computer. I am currently sitting on our chair and a half in the living room, Henry is sleeping on my arm. Luckily he is sleeping on my left arm or my writing would be so atrocious that I wouldn't be able to read it later. As it is my writing doesn't look that good currently because my notebook is balancing on my leg and I am writing at a really weird angle.

Now, onto other things...

It's snowing a little outside, and it snowed a fair amount last night, which reminds me that I kinda hate winter. If it were only up to me we would move to Florida or California to get away from old man winter. Unfortunately it is not only up to me and Mary would probably never move that far away from our families, which means that the only way I get to move somewhere warm and sunny is if I convince everyone else to do it as well, which seems highly unlikely.

It didn't always use to be this way. When I was a kid I loved snow. I would spend hours out in the snow, building snowmen and snow forts and partaking in snowball fights. When I was a kid up on the hill in West Virginia we would spend hours getting things prepared for our snow forts. I remember that I used to use a plastic brick maker that was intended for use making sand castles in order to make a better snow fort.

In addition, when it snowed it allowed for the possibility of two-hour delays and the occasional snow day. Snow days held so much potential, as long as I had finished my homework the night before, and in truth oftentimes even if I hadn't. Cause if I had, or hadn't, I could go outside and play in the snow, or go to a friend's house and play video games.

I always loved going to my various friends/ houses to play video games, because when I was younger I only had a Commodore 64 in which to play games, and I only had a few on that to play. At home I played this game where you played interior decorator to various dream houses. Each one had secret doors and rooms and shortcuts, which made an otherwise tedious game quite interesting to my young mind. I also had this game called Peanut Butter Panic, the goal of which was to create peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. I also had Xevious which consisted of flying a craft and blasting various ground defenses and ships flying through the air. Finally I had Pitfall, the never ending, always scrolling game of crocodiles, quicksand and vines. My friends on the other hand had Ataris, Nintendos and Segas.

I had this one friend who always got the newest games and accessories for his Nintendo. Things like the Power Glove that you could use with Mike Tyson's Punchout and the Power Pad that came with Track and Field were amazing inventions for a boy of 10 to 12. In addition I can't tell you the amount of hours wasted playing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles the Arcade Game [I loved using Donatello] and Super Mario Bros. 3 [I prefer Luigi].

We moved to West Virginia when I was 10 and we moved off of the hill when I was in Junior High. It was when we moved into town that I finally acquired a Nintendo and then a Sega Genesis. Then when I went to college I got to the head of the class video game wise. Getting a Playstation shortly after to came out. Then a PS2, then a Wii, and then a PS3. It was also in college when I stopped caring much for snow and winter.

I went to Anderson University for college and it was a mainly walking campus, so no more snow days. Now I was relegated to walking from my dorm to class no matter the temperature or amount of snow that was on the ground. In addition one I got a car I had to drive in snow, and unlike West Virginia, who knew how to clean roads, Indiana doesn't seem that knowledgeable about it. Plus West Virginia drivers know to put on their lights and slow down in bad weather, but Indiana drivers too often don't use their lights and too often go their normal speed in rain, snow, sleet, or blizzard. So the roads are worse and the drivers drive with less caution.

Add to that nowadays I work at a place that is open 365 days a year and never closes. Heck, when we lose electricity we are supposed to give our customers flashlights and ring transactions up on paper. So, winter you can just go on your merry way, what are you still doing here in the first place, the stupid groundhod said we were having an early spring.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

cleanliness is next to Kenny not losing his mind, 24 of 40

So, for the past, I don't know few weeks or lifetimes, my office has been steadily gaining more and more clutter. It has been driving me a little batty, and I have been wanting to clean it for awhile now, but I have not had the time or the energy to do so. I knew it was going to take a fair amount of time [about 2 hours to be somewhat exact] to clean my office. It was going to take some cleaning and discarding and organization to get it back to my normal chaos. I did not want to do it in chunks because whenever I do that it invariably gets back to its dirty state, if not worse. Tonight I finally set aside the time, thanks to Mary, and cleaned the place up. I feel a lot better now, it was getting to the point where I was beginning to think that the good thoughts were getting stuck in the chaos and never reaching my brain. Now I believe there will be a new free flow exchange of thoughts between my world and my brain. Which should also help you, my constant reader, out also, because hopefully my blogs will be bursting with new life now. At least that's the hope, we'll see how it actually goes.

I guess that's about it for tonight, catch ya later.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Tears, 23 of 40

So, Mary had to go to a funeral on Saturday in East St. Louis, and I had to work, so my mom came up to watch Henry. At first she was only going to come up Friday and leave Saturday, instead she decided to stay until today. This meant that mom was going to come to church with us and hear me give a sermon for the first time. Mom had only visited my church once before and it was on my Installation Service Sunday when my friend Marty preached. She had visited a few times before when I was at other churches, but never a Sunday when I was preaching. She seemed to be genuinely proud of me, so that was good.

Now, onto other things...

In the 2 hour car ride home the three of us talked about various things, one of which was crying. Mom told me that at my dad's funeral [I was 5] my uncle told me that if I wanted to cry I could, because real men do cry. I have no memory of my uncle telling me this, but it was a lesson that I seemed to get subconsciously. I have never been afraid to cry when I felt the need to do so. And I think that as I go along in life I definitely cry more than I used to. I mentioned in the car that when I came to college I could tell you that I had cried at exactly two movies: the Lion King and Untamed Heart.

Today I can barely remember the last five movies I cried at because it is no longer that big a deal for me to cry at movies. For instance I watched Rise of the Guardians last night and I ended up tearing up at one point, mind you this is an animated movie. I cry at movies all the time, when I was attending church as something other than a senior pastor I would tear up a lot during sermon illustrations. Almost anytime someone would tell a real story of people in pain the waterworks would begin. The same goes for when I read a real life story that involves pain or overcoming odds. I own a couple volumes of Chicken Soup for the Soul and I can barely get through a few pages before I am weeping.

Music can also move me to tears, especially more story-oriented songs, like Joshua Kadison's Paris:


Ezra was an old man
He lived by the sea.
Watchin' himself gettin' older,
With no Family.
And Cassie was a pretty one,
A bartender by trade.
She had a daughter with big green eyes,
She called her Jade.
They met each other in the park,
While Jade was on a swing.
On a bench underneath a tree,
They talked about everything.
And she said, Sometimes I get so scared,
But I don't know why.
She reached for the old man's hand,
and she began to cry.
And he said,

it ain't no crime,It ain't no crime...
Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.
It ain't no crime, It ain't no crime...
Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.

Then he said...
I was gonna be a painter,
gonna paint my masterpiece.
I spent my whole life dreamin',
now they're my only memories.
And I was gonna live in Paris, France
Now my body's fallin' apart.
I could be Pablo Picasso if dillusion were an art.
And she said,
"That sounds lovely...Paris, France
Just sayin' those words,
Kinda makes me wanna dance,
Do you wanna dance?"

It ain't no crime,It ain't no crime...
Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.
It ain't no crime, It ain't no crime...
Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.

They'd meet there every Sunday
In the park at noon.
Ezra would get there early
To buy Jade a red balloon.
And Cassie'd tell him all about
her awful luck with men.
She's say, "Wish I could find a guy like you
But they'll never make you again."
And Jade would fall asleep on Ezra's lap
there in the park.
While Cassie'd still be talkin' a long time after dark.

Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.

One Sunday afternoon,
no Ezra, No red balloon.
Just a friend of his who said,
"Ezra Passed Away.
And he wanted me to bring this letter to you today."
Well it was 2 tickets to Paris and a note that read,
'Thank you for the dance...
My dearest Cassie,
you were my Paris, France.'

It ain't no crime, It ain't no crime...
Everybody gets a little bit lonely sometimes.

Every time Ezra dies I am in tears, the first time this happened I was driving a car around 75 mph, not the best time to be in uncontrollable tears.

My plan is to make sure that Henry knows that crying is not a sign of weakness, but that tears are instead a sign of compassion and connection. They are a sign that we are willing to share our emotions, as opposed to so many guys who always hold them in, and usually die of heart attacks. My hope is that one day Henry will be a compassionate caring man, one who can express his feelings and share them with other people. And maybe one day we can both sit around watching cartoons and crying when the good guy is finally seen as a good guy.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Would you read this book?, 22 of 40

So, remember about 15 blogs ago or so when I said that I had come across a new publishing house that accepted submissions? And remember when I was wondering if I should take the time to write a submission? Remember how I wasn't sure if I should do it or not, and how I wasn't sure what I would write about? Well, I've done some thinking and I am moving considerably closer to doing it, so I have this idea for a book titled, "Eyes to See, Ears to Hear: a Journey to a Broader Faith."

What do you think of that title?

Does it grab you?

Do you think it is stupid?

Would you read it?

Along those same lines, this would be the short introduction to the book, tell me what you think.

Have you ever wondered what you were doing in church?  Have you ever asked yourself if it was all a big hoax, if it was all just a really good story that a few people told a few other people and then someone wrote it down?  What if Christianity is really just an elaborate game of telephone?  You know the game, people sit next to each other in a line.  In the beginning one person whispers a phrase into the ear of the first person, and then they whisper it into the next person, and so on and so on.  In the end what started as “The elephant has a long trunk” ends up as “You placed your stuffed elephant in a locker.”  What if our faith is similar to that?  Maybe Jesus started off as this really cool guy who loved God and then became this guy who was God.  Have you ever wondered that?  Well I have, and if you have we have something in common.  In addition if you have picked up this book, either in a Christian book store or the Religion section of a bookstore we also have a curiosity in common.  We both see that while everything may not make sense within the scope of Christianity we cannot just walk away from this guy named Jesus.  If this is you I welcome you to this shared pilgrimage.  There are only two things required for the journey, an open mind and an open heart.  My prayer for you is that somewhere within these pages you can move past worrying about being sure and can stand in the beautiful uncertainty of faith.

Come, Let's journey together.

Thanks for the input.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The Family of God? ,21 of 40

So, have you ever had what you thought was a great idea for a  blog, but then you went out for lunch and about 11 hours pass and then you can not recollect the brilliant idea you had for a blog? No, me neither, except for maybe today.

Never mind, I just remembered.

I was putting together the worship service for church on Sunday, and while I was picking out songs I came across The Family of God. My pianist always ends the service by playing this song. It is a nice song, talking about being so glad that I'm a part of the family of God. And when we sing it we think about how glad we are to be apart of our particular local church family. Or, we think about what it's like to be a part of the wider Church of God family, maybe in America, maybe in the world. Or, maybe we start to think outside of our particular faith tradition and think about being a part of the Christian family in Linton. Or, perhaps we widen it a little bit more and think about being a part of God's Christian family in America, or the world. But I can almost guarantee that no one else in my congregation thinks about the family of God in the same way that I do.

This is because I tend to think globally, but not just in Church of God or even Christian terms when I sing the song. Because even though the song says things like, 'I've been washed in the fountain, cleansed in his blood,' when I think of the family of God, I tend to think of it encompassing the entirety of humanity. You see, I don't think that God ever desired for multiple groups of people to think that they, and only they were a part of this family. I believe God created the world and everything in it (how many days it took, and whether he started with 2 people in a perfect garden or not is  up for debate if you ask me). To that end God breathed life into every single human being. God chose each one of us to be a part of God's family.

Yet, even though God chose all of us to be in his family we decided that God didn't want certain people to be included, usually we decided that the people who were excluded were the people unlike us. This always seems to be the case, doesn't it? We always want to think that we are special, which means that no one else can be. To be honest if I started discounting the possibility that God loves anyone who is unlike me, I am pretty sure that in the end it would be just God and me. Personally I think that might get a little lonely, just the two of us together for all eternity, I mean I like praise songs as much as the next guy or gal, unless the next guy or gal like them more than me, but I am hoping that heaven is not one really long chorus, I stopped going to those churches, I am not seeking that sort of thing for all eternity.

Alas, I digress, this has nothing to do with praise songs, except maybe it does. Some people like to sing hymns only, others only sing choruses, some like a healthy mix of both. Still others sing in chants exclusively, some just don't sing. This is obviously a grand overview of the differences, I could break it down into many more groups, but that's not the point. What is the point, however, is that a lot of people disagree on what they want a worship service to look like, and is we started excluding each other because of what kind of songs we want to sing in a Sunday Worship Service...wait a second, I guess we do exclude ourselves based on the songs we do and do not like. We start a second Sunday morning service that will be contemporary, or even more extreme occasionally start a Saturday night one. But what if I decided that any who doesn't like to worship like I do is not a part of the family? What if I decided that anyone who doesn't sing hymns and choruses are outside the club, but not only that your membership in the club is contingent on how many times you will sing that chorus before it starts sounding like a dead horse?

If I did that you would think I was ridiculous, but in the church we do it all the time, we exclude ourselves from others and exclude others from our gathering all of the time. Sometimes we do it publicly, other times we do it in an undercover way, simply tweaking things that we know will drive X away. But what if, just what if, we woke up one day and decided to be inclusive as opposed to exclusive? What if we decided that each person who lives on this planet was a part of my family because we are all apart of God's family? What would change if I thought you were actually my brother or sister no matter your race or religion or age or socio-economic status, no matter who you loved, as long as you loved? What if we thought that everyone was a part of God's family? What could we change right now?

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Life gets in the way, the big 20 of 40

So, this blog has been a little more sporadic than I originally planned 20+ days ago, back then I expected to be able to write a blog a day, but life seems to be getting in the way from time to time. My first problem is that it is sometimes difficult to write the blog while I am watching Henry, which I do every weekday from the time I wake up until 5:15 when Mary comes home. This means that I am relegated to writing it in the evenings, which wouldn't be an issue, except on the days I end up going to work at 6 and getting home somewhere between 12 and 1. By that time it is already the next day, I am usually tired, and I have to most likely wake up around 7, so on the nights I close I usually don't write my blog, which means that there are days with no blogs and a few with multiple. It isn't the plan I originally set out with, but, by and large it has still been working. After all here I am half way through my 40 blogs and I still have 23 days until Easter, so even though it hasn't been a daily blog, I am accomplishing enough that I will still achieve my goal, which is  a good thing if you ask me.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

A Cold and Broken Hallelujah,19 of 40

So, roughly a year ago we found out that we were going to have a baby. It was the answer to a lot of prayers, and both the end of wondering if we could and the beginning of wondering what kind of parents we would be. Nine months of pregnancy and almost 4 months of life later here we are. Henry is a happy little kid, so I guess we haven't done anything irreparable to him yet.

Now, onto other things...

While I was doing dishes tonight I was listening to the song Hallelujah, all four versions that I have on my iPod. It is a song I first heard in the movie Shrek, but the scene that comes to mind most was in an episode of the West Wing where a secret service agent that C.J. had fallen for was killed. It is a song with a lot of Biblical allusions in it, but there are also verses with perhaps questionable content. It is a song that has been interpreted many different ways by many different artists. The four versions I own are by Jeff Buckley, Derek Webb, Justin Timberlake and SafetySuit. Of them, I probably prefer Buckley's.  It is a song that connects with a lot of people for a lot of different reasons, for me it is the following verse that connects the deepest.


Maybe there’s a God above
But all I’ve ever learned from love
Was how to shoot at someone who outdrew you
It’s not a cry you can hear at night
It’s not somebody who has seen the light
It’s a cold and it’s a broken Hallelujah

Yeah, it probably seems strange that this particular verse is the one that resonates with me, considering that I am a pastor and it allows the possibility that there may not be a God. Well, I suppose I would say first, I haven't always been a pastor, but beyond that I would say two things. First I would say that I don't know there is a God, I believe that there is one, I believe that this God created us and helps us out, I believe this God loves us so much that Jesus was sent to show us the extent of that love, but I cannot say that I know there is a God. In the end I could die and that could be the end of it all, I doubt it, but I don't know. Beyond that I would say that it is the second part of this verse that touches me the deepest, because it is in the times when I doubt that my hallelujah's have the most power.

I am probably thinking this way in part because of my sermon this upcoming Sunday. For the next four weeks I am going to be preaching a series I have titled Last Words. Each week I am going to be preaching on one of the things Jesus said while he hung on the cross. And I am starting with, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?" There are many things that I think we can learn from the cries that Jesus made while his earthly life was fading, and from this one statement I could preach multiple sermons, but the focus is going to be on how we deal with life when we are disappointed with God, when we feel we've been let down or left alone by the Almighty.

I think that Jesus is telling us that it is all right to have doubts, as long as we still hold onto God. After all Jesus still says My God, My God, he doesn't forget that God is there, he just wants to know why he has to be going through what he is going through. We all wonder that from time to time. I have a friend who recently lost the baby she was carrying, and I am sure she wants to know why. I have another friend who is getting married this summer and feels let down by her parents who aren't exactly supportive of the marriage, and I am sure she wants to know why. I have parishioners who are going through a multitude of things and I am sure they want to know why. I have a friend who lost her dad, another whose mother had a stroke, and both are asking why. Jesus understands the question 'why?' It's something we can be sure of, because you don't feel you've been forsaken and not ask why.

In those moments I believe that God hears our questions and desperately just wants to hold us, but we don't always allow God, or at least don't recognize God's touch. In those moments I believe that God sees our tears and sheds some as well. Right around a year ago we cried tears of joy at the word 'pregnant' on a stick that was recently urinated on, but before that moment we had shed a lot more tears of disappointment and worry that we may never see that word. We went through years of questions and doubts before we ever had our time of joy, unfortunately that's how it happens for most of us, the disappointment comes before the rejoicing. I think the most important thing for those of us who have faith is to still cry Hallelujah in the times of doubt and pain, it may be a cold a broken Hallelujah, but it is still a Hallelujah.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

To Live Again (a song),18 of 40

broken dreams, broken roads
been down, there once before
had a life, let it go
brought down, oh so low

but here I am, alive once more
here I am, and I'm ready to go
so let me go, away somehow
let me go, so I'll come back anew

broken words, broken lies
told again, a thousand times
had a love, let it go
brought down, oh so low

but here I am, alive once more
don't know how, don't really care
so let me breathe, again somehow
let me breathe, so I'll live again

broken sight, broken lines
failed again, a billion lies
hold my heart, let it go
brought down, oh so low

but here I, I breath again
heart beats, against all odds
so let it beat, and beat again
let me live, without an end

broken lies, broken truth
looking up, into your truth
hold my life, my heart, my head
lifted high, oh so high

here I am, here somehow
my life, my all, is in your hands
so give me you, only you
and I will always live anew

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The New 52, 17 of 40

So, I don't know if you are into comics very much, I have a wavering love of them. From time to time I give up comics and then at some point later I give in and try to catch up again. I have had many different comic loves through the years, it probably started with Marvel comics and Spider-man and the X-Men, but it branched out to other companies and other characters. First to Image, when a group of amazing artists left Marvel to start their own company. Image consisted of some of my favorite artists, Rob Liefeld, Todd McFarlane, Erik Larsen, and my favorite, then and now, Jim Lee.

I am a fanatical Jim Lee fan, if he draws it I want to read it, when we first 'met' he was rebooting X-Men, then jumped to Image with Wild C.A.T.S. then Deathblow and Stormwatch and Gen13. Following that he went back to Marvel, along with Liefeld and a few others to work on the Heroes Reborn story-line, drawing the Fantastic Four [a title I never cared for before or since, but loved then].  Jim then bounced back to his Image imprint Wildstorm where he did, among other things, Divine Right. He ended up selling Wildstorm to DC and then focused on art alone for awhile, doing a year run on Batman, then Superman, and then All-Star Batman and Robin.

Then Jim went and did the design art for DC Online, a multi-player internet game world. Jim then became a co-publisher at DC, and then...DC stopped the current numbering publication of every title and rebooted with The New 52.

An aside is probably needed before we continue. Other than following Jim Lee's every move my main concentration on comics for the last, say decade or more, has been Batman. Batman is by far my favorite comic character, and since there are a billion comics and a million Batman related ones, I have had to limit my spending to this one character. To that end I have followed Bruce and the gang for awhile. A few years ago Bruce got himself stuck in time and Dick Grayson, aka the first Robin, aka Nightwing, took over the batsuit. It was one of my favorite arcs, because I love Dick Grayson, If Batman is 1 Nightwing is 1A.

Okay, back to The New 52. The first thing is that it has been going on for about a year and a half and I just recently decided to jump back in. I have been borrowing some issues from the same friend who I talked about the other day being devastated by the upcoming, now happened, death of Damien Wayne, aka the fourth, or fifth depending on who you ask, Robin. With her help and with the help of the library and the help of trade paperbacks of the collected first volumes of some of the titles I have been able to catch up on most of the Bat titles, namely, Nightwing, the Teen Titans, Red Hood and the Outlaws, Batman and Robin, as well as Justice League [which Jim had been drawing, until #12].

Overall I would say that I like The New 52, it has a lot of great creative teams working on the Bat books, but its continuity has been driving me bonkers recently. From what I understand a lot of the big stories that happened pre-New 52 still happened, like Batman going away, and Jason Todd, aka the second Robin, aka Red Hood, dying and coming back, but on the other hand some of the characters back-stories have been altered for unknown reasons. For instance Dick never actually lived with Bruce, but instead at a boys home, Tim Drake, aka the third Robin, aka Red Robin, went straight to being Red Robin instead of just plain Robin, and his parents are in witness protection, as opposed to being dead, which I guess means that the Identity Crisis crossover never happened.

To be honest it's rather difficult to keep it all straight. To that end, it all makes sense and all makes absolutely no sense at the same time, like the fact that Damien and Tim came to blows when Damien was first introduced, but I guess Tim was a different character when it happened. Huh? What? In the end it goes to show you that comics are pretty much the [mainly] boy equivalent of soap operas. Well, I guess that is enough for one night's ramblings on comic books.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

This morning's sermon outline, 16 of 40

The Last Supper Mark 14:12-26; 1 Corinthians 11:17-34 March, 3 2013

Both Jesus and Paul tell us that we need to take communion in the right mind set, by remembering and having self-judgment

The importance of remembering – Jesus says that we should take communion in remembrance of him, Paul echoes that

What does it say to us? – What is our attitude about communion? Why are we taking it? Is it to look good, to show other people our “relationship” with Jesus is in good standing? We should be taking communion in the act of remembering, remembering everything Jesus did for us, from birth to death to life, remembering his pain and suffering, his tears and miracles, his grace and love, for even though the bread is just bread and the juice is just juice, what we are doing has meaning

The importance of self-judgment – Paul also tells us to examine ourselves that we are taking communion in a worthy manner, and if we are not we should not partake in communion

What does it say to us? – It first says that we need to understand who we are and why we are taking communion, this does not mean to say that you have to be entirely sanctified in order to take communion, you don’t have to be sinless, you don’t have to have been sin free for a few days or weeks or hours, what it does mean is that communion has to mean something to you, what Jesus did has to have meaning for you, and you want to reply, we reply by singing songs, we reply by praying, we reply by giving tithes and offerings, we reply by being baptized, we reply by taking communion

The importance of taking it together – Paul also tells us to take it together, Communion looked different in Paul’s time, it was taken in conjunction with an Agape Feast, what we would call a community dinner or pot-luck, people ate an entire meal and then took the traditional elements, but they weren't waiting for everyone, they were rushing ahead, some getting full and drunk and others going hungry

What does it say to us? – we still often come to communion as a people not together, we have disagreements, we hold grudges, sometimes we’re judging each other, it goes back to the Sermon on the Mount – if you remember you have an issue with your brother go fix that first

The importance of being open – As I say every month here in the Church of God we practice an open table, meaning that if you want to take communion with us you are welcome, if it’s your first time in our doors you are welcome, we have no requirements, no classes to take, no interview, and that means something, because a lot of churches don’t work that way, in some you have to be an official member, in some you have to have been through a class or a set of classes, others want a record of your baptism, we do not, here you are welcome because it is not our table, it is Jesus’ and he welcomes us all

3 rules for living in polite society, 15 of 40

So, as I was out and about today accomplishing a few errands I had a few thoughts about my run-ins with strangers. These thoughts have manifested themselves into 3 rules that I feel that we need to have in our society, rules to make everyone's life a little easier.

#1: When driving if you can't just drive, limit yourself to only two tasks, driving and X.

In a perfect world we would all be able to drive and do nothing else. We wouldn't have to talk or text. We wouldn't have to eat or drink. We wouldn't have to do anything, except pay attention to the road and the other motorists around us. Alas, we do not live in a perfect world, so not only do we do other things, sometimes we do multiple other things. Take for instance the lady in the Penn Station parking lot today, who had a phone in one hand and a cigarette in her other hand.

Obviously this woman was a human being, so she only had two hands. If she had three maybe she could have used one to drive better with also. Unfortunately this was not the case, so her driving left something to be desired. Now, like I said I realize that this is not a perfect world, and so I understand that people multitask while driving. I have seen people read books while driving, which boggles the mind. I have seen and heard of people eating all kind of food while driving, from burgers to pizza to tacos to subway sandwiches. I understand that people are often in the need to conduct business or personal affairs by phone while driving. That all said, can we please try to limit it to only one thing while driving?

#2: When out in public refrain from cursing and screaming on your cell phones.

I was in the Penn Station parking lot, because I picked up lunch at Penn Station. Almost every time I go to Penn Station I am reminded of this time when I was at Lowes. It was a couple of years ago, when I finally got around to registering my car in Indiana so that I could stop registering it back home in West Virginia. Because of this I was in need of some spray to get my bolts loose on my license plate. I was walking through the store in order to find said spray and I encountered this woman talking on her phone. Well, talking would be saying it politely, the fact of the matter is that she was screaming and cursing on the phone. I don't remember what she was saying anymore, but I do remember that it had something to do with a guy and court.

I walked through the majority of that store and all I heard was this lady screaming and cursing about this guy and court. The reason I almost always remember this day at Lowes when I am at Penn Station is because the woman works at Penn Station. I doubt she knows I was there that day, I doubt she knows I remember it every time I see her. And I also doubt that it would matter is she did. Very often at work I encounter people who are so busy on their phones that they can't have the person hold while they check out a video. We are always on our phones and we are so often unconcerned about what we are saying and who is listening, but what if we kept our personal conversations private? What if we only screamed and cursed on the phone when we were alone, at the very least my time at Lowes would have been better.

#3: Let's realize that bumper stickers are not in the business of changing peoples minds.

I have a few bumper stickers, most of us do. I have one that says Love Wins, which I believe to be ultimately be true. I have another that says God is Green, because I believe that God, who created this ball we live on probably cares about this ball we live on, and the plants and animals and people who inhabit it. I have see bumper stickers that are funny, some that are insightful, some with pictures, others with designs, others with words. I have seen bumper stickers that support troops or cancer victims or gay rights. I have seen bumper stickers that show a cartoon character urinating on Ford or Chevy or Dodge, I have seen bumper stickers that rhyme and others that curse.

I have seen all of this and more but lately I am beginning to notice some cars are taking it to another level. There are a few cars around Anderson that not only have bumper stickers, but also stickers on their car doors and trunks and hoods. These are not small stickers, but rather large rectangles of words on a black background. Have you seen these cars? They have phrases on the stickers that go something like, 'You are going to burn in hell if you don't believe Jesus' or 'The King James is the only true version of the Bible'.

I have two thoughts on these messages. My first thought is that the latter is simply not true, there is nothing especially holy about the King James or any other translation. Once we started translating the Bible into languages other than the original Hebrew, Greek and Aramaic we changed things, just look into how many different words we translated into love, or look into what the word Paul used that we translate in Philippians 3:8 loss. My second thought is that people aren't swayed by bumper stickers. No one is going to become an environmentalist because of my God is Green bumper sticker let alone love Jesus because you scared him/her into it through a big rectangle on your drivers side door.

Bumper stickers do not change minds or save souls, so lets all stop acting like they do.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

A Pacifist Watches a Show about War, 14 of 40

So, Mary left this morning for Daytona, FL for the weekend [she is working on the planning stages of Christian Women Connection's 2014 convention] then early this afternoon I met Mary's parents and nephew in Fort Wayne so that Henry could spend the weekend with them. So here I am, home alone, just a little bit worried that I may have to booby trap my apartment in case of late night thieves. In honesty I am sitting at home watching Band of Brothers. If you haven't seen it, it is a 10 part series about Easy Company, a troop of Airborne soldiers during WWII. I have seen it at least three times already, which is actually kind of odd, considering that I am a pacifist.

Did you know that about me? I would guess not. It's not that I hide the fact, it is simply that I don't have cause to mention it all that often, at least not until someone starts a conversation about war with me. Since that rarely happens it is one of my beliefs that most people don't know about me. I realize that there are a lot of different views out there on war and a lot of people I know and care about have different beliefs, which is fine. For me it pretty much comes down to a question of who would Jesus kill, I would suggest that he wouldn't kill anyone, and since my main goal in life is to try to be more like Jesus I also believe that I shouldn't kill anyone. Logic follows that if I feel that I shouldn't, I in turn would rather no one else have to do it for me, hence pacifism.

I come from a church tradition that, at times, have embraced the idea of being a peace church. Unfortunately, by and large, we do not anymore, save for the Peace Fellowship of the Church of God. I still believe that it is important to hold the view. At the same time I do not believe that people who disagree with me are evil, nor do I believe that men and women who serve in the Armed Forces are bad people, I just wish that they didn't have to do what they do. I pray for a day when people will solve disputes without resorting to violence of any kind, unfortunately I do not believe that day will come this side of Jesus' return.

There are people who would argue that since it won't happen then we should just live life in the world that we have. I would argue that we need to live life the way we want it to be, rather than accept it the way it is, to be the change we wish to see in the world. So I will continue to hope for peaceful resolutions during conflicts. I will continue to pray for the day when this too shall pass, when the lion will lay down with the lamb, and when all people will realize that all people are sacred creations of a loving God.

So, why do I watch Band of Brothers? Because I am a student of the human condition. Because when men and women are in extreme situations we find out who we really are, both good and bad, and the men of Easy Company are some of the bravest people I have ever learned about, they lay down their lives for their brothers, and they are a group of men who answered a call that I would not be able to. But ultimately I watch Band of Brothers for moments of depth, like when the chaplain walks through a midst of bullets so that he can give last rites to the dead and dying, and for the following quote from Richard Winters [Damien Lewis] "That night, I thanked God for seeing me through that day of days and prayed I would make it through D plus 1. I also promised that if some way I could get home again, I would find a nice peaceful town and spend the rest of my life in peace."

Peace and Love,
Pastor K