Crossing the Gulf

So, I have recently come to a conclusion, there is a huge dramatic difference between believing in God and trusting God.

I believe in God, and while it has been difficult at times it has been a fairly steady belief. I trust God, or at least I claim to, but it is so much harder than simply believing. Believing only requires us to have a concept of, or a little faith in, or a thought that we can't get rid of. But trust, trust requires a lot more. It makes us move from a place of believing to a place where we know that God is not only out there somewhere but is right next to us.

But, more than that, God must be more than just right there, God must be on our side, God must want what's good for us, and God must be able to help us to acquire that which is good for us.

Let's break that down one by one.

God MUST be right next to us: If God is not by us what is the point in trusting God? If God is far away what would it mean to trust God? God must be close enough to understand our hurt and understand how to help us stop hurting.

God MUST be on our side: If God is not for us, trusting God would be irrelevant. What would I be trusting God to do? Tear me down? Tear me apart? Laugh at my pain?

God MUST want what is good for us: This is a natural extension of the previous comment. We need a God that is on our side, but more than that we need a God who wants what is best for us. We need to believe that even in the pain and trials that God is ultimately wanting us to succeed, to thrive not just survive.

God MUST be able to help us to acquire that which is good for us: If God is a complete bystander than again what am I trusting God for? God must be on my side and want what's best for me and be able to help me to get that.

I believe all of that, but I also believe that we have a ton more freedom in this life than some 'Christians' think we do. I believe in a God that always wants what's best for us but I believe that God allows us to choose which path we will walk, and depending on that path sometimes stuff happens. But, I also believe that even when we take the path that God would rather us not there is once again a path that will lead us to where God would prefer us to be.

Do you know what I mean?

You see, I believe in two absolute truths, there is a God and I'm not him [or her, or a better pronoun that would encompass both sexes that currently doesn't exist]. Everything after that is open for debate. You see, I am a firm believer in the meeting point of faith and logic, so for me everything I hold to has to make sense in my mind. Some of you may have read that sentence and said, "WHAT!?!" To that I say, "Yep", everything I believe about God makes sense to me, hence what doesn't make sense [say a literal 6 day creation] I discard.

That's how my faith works, so it is easy for me to believe that there is a God behind the creation of the world and the complexities of said world. It is easy for me to believe that God is on my side and on your side, because it makes complete sense to me that if God created the world God would want good things for that world. Which makes it easy for me to believe that God wants what is best for me. It is the next step that I find the hardest to take, from a place where God wants whats best to a place where God works in such a way that God will help me to acquire what is best.

It is that place where I have to have a leap of faith, from believing God to trusting God. Trusting that God is moving in this world in a way that will ultimately lead me to a place where I am in the place that is best for me and Mary and Henry.

I still have questions. I still have doubts. But I am daily attempting to cross the gulf.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K