Tuesday 5 of 40

So, I really didn't like being sick, and while it isn't quite over, by and large it has faded away, hence I am back and the 40 posts continue on.

I wrote a post last year about legacy and how a yellow folder made me think about things in my life. Those thoughts keep running around in my head almost every time I look at Henry.  Having him around definitely makes me rethink things about my life.  Things I have said, things I have done. People I have hurt and used and loved. It has made me rethink just about everything about my life, which may be why I have become a little more honest about myself this past year. It's why I could write a post called Confession, it's why I can call myself a 'mess of a man.' It's why I can write in my profile that I am trying to be a better person, husband, pastor, friend and I sometimes don't do that well.

And I am cool with that, because I am beginning to understand things on more levels than I used to. I am finally beginning to believe that God loves me in the mess that I am, and more than that am realizing that God also loves the mess that you all are also. God sent Jesus to show us how far God was willing to go in order to show us how much we are loved, how much we are wanted, how much we are accepted, even in the mess we are, we are forgiven even when 'they know not what they do.' A cross showed me how far God would go.

That makes me realize that I am allowed to be me, until I am what God wants me to be. I can be the half way descent pastor, husband, father, friend, person that I am, until I am a better all of that. I know that's good enough for God, and I hope that it will be good enough for Henry