A Great History CBO 2006

So, this is, oddly enough, my first [and now last] meditation, which was originally published in the 2006 CBO Meditation Journal, based on the theme Keeping Watch, from Luke 2:8.

A Great History

“The lamp of the body is the eye.  If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light.  But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness.If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness!” Matthew 6:22-23

Sometimes I forget that there is a great history around me.  In each building that I pass.  In each person that I meet.  In every corner of my life.  Sometimes I forget that there is a great history around me.

It seems fairly easy to forget this.  After all, I lead a busy life—full of work, love, church, and the occasional moment of relaxation.  And it is so easy to become wrapped up in my own worries and successes, and to forget that there is a great history around me.

But then, from time to time, I slow down and reflect on that great history.  I think of the plight of those men and women that have been oppressed so that other men and women could live in luxury.  I think of the children that have lost, or never had, a parent to guide them.

And I think of a Great God that created it all, and works through it all, so that he can care for and love all.  I think of his Son, who came as a baby.  I think of his Son, who lived to show us how to live and died to show us how to die, so that we could follow his lead.  I think of a long line of people that have carried their crosses so that I might remember to carry mine.  Yet sometimes I forget that there is a great history around me.

Remember to take the time to slow down and remember where you are, where you have come from, and where God is leading you next.  And while you're at it this holiday season, worry about your family more than about the gifts you will buy them.

+ Again and again, Jesus left the crowds to be alone with his Father in prayer, what will it take for you to find this same sense of Sabbath, this sense of solitude?

+ Our society is constantly preaching speed as a way of life, and when things aren't fast enough we get angry.  Are you willing to show patience in the face of adversity, love in the face of anger, and grace in the face of sin?

+ In what ways can you remember the story that is our history?

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

p.s. If I don't get a chance to tell you in person, Merry Christmas, Happy New Year and may you have a glorious holiday, whichever one you do or do not celebrate.

2 Meditations from CBO 2008

So, these two meditations were originally published in the 2008 Meditation Journal, based on the theme Visions of the Father taken from John 14:7.

Reflections of Love

Jesus answered, “I am the way, the truth, and the life.  No one comes to the Father, except through me.  If you really knew me, you would know my Father as well.  From now on, you do know him and have seen him.”  John 14:6,7

Is it me or has Noah's ark become a cute way to decorate the rooms of children?  Noah has become a little chubby guy with a nice grey beard and there seem to be about 10 or so animals on board.  It has a nice tan border with puffy white clouds and a bright shiny sun.  It is a very happy and serene scene.

A couple years ago I was in London.  I went to London's longest running play, The Mousetrap, a murder mystery by Agatha Christie.  I went to museums, the Tower of London, and to Stonehenge, all magnificent experiences.  One day, I ended up at the Tate Britain Art Museum and there I encountered a very different Noah's Ark Scene.  The artist was Francis Dabny and his painting was titled The Deluge.  Noah's Ark was in the background, but in the foreground the sky is dark, the lightning threatening, and a group of people flee from a wall of water,.  I wonder how many people would put that scene in their house, let alone a small child's room.

I say this to say the following, it is possible to look at the first half of the Bible, and see a harsh God, who is bent on punishing people for every mistake. But in the light of Jesus we see a very different God, we see a God of love and compassion, of grace and truth.  If we had understood God to begin with, we may never have needed a savior. But we did not understand and so we needed Jesus to come down to us and show us how God really is.

+ Do you think of God in terms of laws or love?

+ Think of a time when you saw something in one light, but then learned that it was different, how did it make you feel? How did it change you?


+ As you pray this month, ask God for more truth and understanding.

Mimicking Christ

“I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.” John 10:10b NIV

My father died when I was 5 years old.  It was a loss that I failed to comprehend at the time.  I missed him, but I didn't really know all the ways that his death would change things until later.  When I was a little older, I would see boys learning things from their fathers and being taught the little things that little boys can only learn from a father or a father figure.  Those were the times when I really understood what I had lost.

As I grew, however, my mom and grandma would occasionally say things like, “You remind me of your father when you do that,” or, “That is just like what Bob used to do when he was your age.”  One day, after I hadn't seen my grandma for a number of years, I showed up unexpectedly at her door.  A couple of months later, when I again visited (this time with my mom), my grandma said that she had known it was me the time before because I looked like my dad.

Those are the moments in which I most feel like my father's son.  In those moments, I reconnect with both my loss and the possibility of what could have been.  But it also brings me a bit of joy to know that my presence reminds people of the one I wish I was like.  What if the same thing could be said of all of us in relation to Jesus?  What if, when people encountered us, they realized that they were encountering him?

Only when we are connected to Jesus—when our branch is connected to the Vine, and when we grieve over his death and glory over his life—can we be reminiscent of the One who paid the price so that we could live and live to the fullest.

+ In what ways do your mirror your parents?

+ Do you mirror Jesus in similar ways?

+ Think back to a time in which someone noticed Jesus in you.  What were you doing?  How did it make you feel to be a mirror of Jesus?

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

A group of Anonymous Meditations CBO 2009

So, as the title implies the following meditations were all originally published anonymously in the 2009 CBO Meditation Journal, based on the theme Follow the Star. Throughout the journal there were meditations that were all told in the first person following various Biblical people that were intertwined in the Nativity story. These were my offerings.

Joseph, Surrogate Father of the Lord

“Arise take the young child and His mother, flee to Egypt, and stay there until I bring you word; for Herod will seek the young child to destroy him.” Matthew 2:13b

Mom, Dad,

The past couple of years have been a whirlwind.  It all started off when Mary, my wife, then fiancé, told me that she was a virgin and pregnant.  In my mind those two things can't both be true, so at first I thought she was losing her mind, and then she started to show, which made me think that she was lying about the former not the latter.  I was willing to let her go in secret, but then an angel appeared to me saying that yes both were true, and to top it all off, Mary was pregnant with God's own son.  So I took Mary as my wife, we went to Bethlehem to be counted and she gave birth in a manger, because the inn had no vacancies.  So here we are surrounded by a couple sheep and a donkey and a few other random animals when all of a sudden a small group of shepherds show up saying that angels told them to come and worship the newborn king.

That was crazy, but then a while later a few weird looking men  showed up, and they said that they had followed a star to find our child.  They were about to go to Herod and let him known where to find Jesus, when they were told in a dream that Herod wanted no good for our son and then left secretly in another direction.  After they left then I had another dream telling me to take Mary and Jesus, our son, and go to Egypt.  Of all places, Egypt, the same place and people who had enslaved our own people so many years ago, and the reason I was to do this, Herod wanted to destroy Jesus.  Destroy him, he can barely walk and Herod wants to kill him.  It doesn't make any sense, but I find that if you listen to God amazing things will happen.  So here we go.

Yours truly,
Joseph, husband of Mary, father of Jesus, more or less

+ Do you think that you could be as faithful as Joseph was?

+ In what ways can you be more faithful to God's will in your own life?

+ Pray that God would use you in whatever way he may choose.

Shepherds, followers of the Lamb

“Nearby, in fields outside of Bethlehem, a group of shepherds were guarding their flocks from predators in the darkness of night” Luke 2:8

“Can you believe what just happened?”

“No, what should we do?

“We should go.”

“Go where?”

“To see the child, see the king, the prophet, the savior.”

A Savior, a king, a prophet?  No, that is not what you might have thought on first sight, he was just a baby, as typical and normal as my own.  He cried when he was hungry, no matter what you may have been told.  He hungered and thirst like every other baby, and he may well have given Mary fits later on, that I do not know, but he was different in his own way, quite in an inward way, with a maturity that not only went past his years but also his humanity.  The angel said that he came from heaven to bring us back with him, our holy book foretold that his death would cross the divide that we created, and that his life would show us more than we had yet seen.  We went to see a savior, a king, a prophet and we found a child. A child to heal us, a child to save us, a child to show us the way.

Years later I would still hear of this child turned man, would hear that he speaks of himself like a shepherd trying to gather his flock to himself.  Me and my kindred know what he speaks about, we know the dangers that lurk behind the next rock, we know of the night air's chill and to gather together brings warmth and safety.  When I hear that Jesus speaks about gathering a flock I realize that I was a part of that first flock, that gathered around him to behold the future in the present.

+ When you think of Jesus as a shepherd do you think of him as kind and tenderhearted?  Do you also think of him as a protector and defender?

+ So often we take for granted that God sent Jesus in the form of a baby, but try to put yourself in the shoes of someone who is experiencing it for the first time, how would (did) you feel? What does it change about how you view Christmas?

Simeon, holder of the Savior

“In Jerusalem at the time, there was a man, Simeon by name, a good man, a man who lived in the prayerful expectancy of help for Israel.”  Luke 2:25 

You probably do not know me well, I am a mere blip on the radar screen of God's great plan, but like you, I know a thing or two about waiting, about searching.  I know that waiting is often the hardest part, I know that a search is as much about what you are searching for as it is about yourself.  And I know what it means for the wait to be over and the search to be through.

I had lived a long life, but I held onto this mortal coil because I wanted to see the new beginning.  My people were a people of suffering, of clawing our ways back up just to be knocked down again, but I knew hope was on the way, because I knew our story.  I knew of a promise to Abraham of a first son, a promise to David of a great son, a promise told by the prophet Isaiah of the one and only Son.  And because of my faith and because of my hope, my God gave me the gift to see the 8 day old savior of my people, of all people.

You probably do not know me well, I am a mere blip on the radar screen of God's great plan, I am Simeon and I held Jesus in my arms.

+ How are you preparing yourself for Jesus, even now?

+ Have you allowed life's searches to shape you as you shaped them?

+ Pray that God would allow you to feel Jesus in your heart this season.

The Magi, seekers of the King

“Where is the one who has been born king of the Jews? We saw his star in the east and have come to worship him.” Matthew 2:2 

Creation cried that first night, a cry of joy that reverberated through the entire cosmos.  It was a sight to behold.  We, three, saw what many others saw but, unlike them, we saw it for what it was, a birth announcement.  We gathered what we would need for the journey and set out across valleys and mountains, across plains and deserts.  We arrived in a far away land and were taken to the reigning power, and asked where the new king was to be born.  Even the leader knew nothing of what we spoke, so he had to ask his own wise men, who consulted their ancient texts and found what they sought.  But they did not rush out to find this king, they told us to go and find him, and then to report back.

We continued on our journey to find this new king, and find him we did.  In this small child lay the hope of the world, yet he cared more about the funny looking men with their odd colors and weird hair. We brought him our gifts, gifts of worship and material gifts, all gifts fit for a newborn king.  As we slept we dreamed that the ruler wanted this small child's destruction, so when we took our leave we left by an alternate way.  Having been changed by the journey, having been changed by the destination.

+  Think about the last time you took a trip, did you enjoy the journey as well as the destination?

+ What steps can you take to be sure you give this time of advent the seriousness it deserves? What gifts are you bringing to Jesus this year?

+ Pray that God would help you to seek the king as well.

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

A Push in the Right Direction CBO 2009

So, this meditation was originally published in the 2009 CBO Meditation Journal, based on the theme Follow the Star. A Push in the Right Direction was the edited title of what follows.

Sometimes, we all need to be dragged

“Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary as your wife...She will bear a son, and you are to name him Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins.” Matthew 1: 20b, 21

Now, for all the women reading this it might not be a big surprise that a guy would need the urging of an angel in order to be ready to be a father, and you guys out there might be a little red-faced right now.  But that's how it is sometimes, sometimes we need to be gently nudged, all right, down right pushed, into moving into the next phase of our lives. This is especially true when it happens in a way or time not of our choosing.

And this is often the case, many times we are all too often the last ones on board for any major change Joseph, the righteous man that he was, was willing to let Mary off in secret, rather than publicly scorn her which could have led to her death.  But, being told in a dream, instead took her to his ancestral home to be counted and to give birth. The result, angels and shepherds and men of wisdom came to behold the birth of Jesus, and the whole world was filled with his glory.

It is often a marvelous place we can come to if we but get out of God's way and get into God's plan.  In this time of anticipation may we all plan a little less and allow God to move a little more.

+ In what times have you been reluctant to move forward?

+ In those times did you seek God's will in prayer? Why or why not?

+ Pray that God would help you to get out of the way and to work his plan out in your life.

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

10 Books that have stuck

So, quite a few people have been posting on Facebook about the 10 books that have stuck with them. And while I have not officially been tagged in these lists I thought it might be fun to make a list myself. It was my original intention to just post this as a status on Facebook, but it became a little more bloated than I originally thought it would be, so instead I decided to post it here on my blog.

I tend to live my life with one foot in the 'Religious' world and one in the 'Secular' so my list is coincidentally 5 novels/series and 5 books on religion. And while we are at caveats I should mention that these are in no particular order other than this is the way they came to me. If I had to pick the one book that has had the biggest impact on my life and theology and grace it would be Velvet Elvis and if I had to pick my favorite one of the 'Secular' books I would pick Peanuts, because frankly I'm a little obsessed.

1. The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling

I was introduced to the Harry Potter series by Myndie Turner shortly before Book 3 [The Prisoner of Azkaban] was released. She told me that I just had to read them, and while I was somewhat hesitant to read it at first, I fell in love with Harry, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore, and Rowling's magical world. I always thought that the 'Christian' backlash against the books was ridiculous, it is a story of friendship, loyalty, love, and sacrifice. If you haven't read them you are doing yourself a disservice. If you are curious in order of my favorite to least favorite they go something like this: Book 4 [The Goblet of Fire], Book 6 [The Half Blood Prince], Book 7 [The Deathly Hallows], Book 1 [The Sorcerer's Stone], Book 3 [The Prisoner of Azkaban], Book 2 [The Chamber of Secrets] and finally Book 5 [The Order of the Phoenix] (Mainly because Harry is going through puberty and yells a lot)

2. If Grace is True by Phillip Gulley and James Mulholland

These next three books are controversial in some sections of the church, which is probably why I like them, because if I'm honest I am controversial in some sections of the church. [And if we are completely honest every single one of my five favorite religious books are controversial in certain areas of the church, because frankly a lot of people in the church are angry old curmudgeons]

In this book Gulley and Mulholland lay out an argument for universal salvation based on the Grace of God. It is not the only book I have read that espouses the belief, but it was the first. Obviously I have been taught that there is a certain course of events that happen after we die, but I don't know what happens when we do die, but I hope that Gulley and Mulholland and others are right. And for those out there that say if it is true what would be the point in following God, you just need to pick up the next book, If God is Love.

3. A New Kind of Christian by Brian McLaren

Modern. Post-Modern. Before A New Kind of Christian I couldn't tell you what they meant or why they were important. But what McLaren lays out in this first book of his trilogy [along with The Story We Find Ourselves In and The Last Word and the Word After That] is way forward for a Christianity that was becoming dull in my mind. To steal part of the official synopsis,

"This stirring fable captures a new spirit of Christianity--where personal, daily interaction with God is more important than institutional church structures, where faith is more about a way of life than a system of belief, where being authentically good is more important than being doctrinally "right," and where one's direction is more important than one's present location."

4. Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell

There are a million things about this book I could choose to talk about, but the section on belief and trampolines alone is worth the price of admission for me. If you know what I'm talking about, you know. If you don't buy a copy, or get one from the library, or just ask to borrow mine, except its already out on loan at the moment, so you might have to wait.

5. As the Crow Flies by Jeffrey Archer

If I had to pick my favorite novelist Jeffrey Archer would be the man I would pick. I love all of his books, but As the Crow Flies beats the rest by a slim margin. It is a tale of a young boy who becomes a department store magnate, and while that may not sound very interesting it is an edge of the seat journey through a rags to riches story.

6. All is Grace by Brennan Manning

I could pick other Books by Brennan, for instance The Ragamuffin Gospel, The Importance of Being Foolish, or The Furious Longing of God, but for me it is his auto-biography that really let me understand the mess of a man that he was. You may wonder why that is important, the reason is simple, if God can use the mess that was Brennan in the powerful way that God did, God can use the mess of a man that I am. That always seemed to be Brennan's main message it just took me a little longer than most of his devotees to realize it.

7. Redwall Series by Brian Jacques

Redwall is another "children's book series" that I first encountered in college. It is a series consisting of 22 novels following the various adventures of woodland animals, based in, around, and before the Abbey of Redwall. Unfortunately Brian Jacques passed away in 2011 so there will most likely not be another Redwall novel, but I made sure to collect the whole series for Henry and I to explore when he gets a little older.

8. Snow Treasure by Marie McSwigan

Snow Treasure, which is probably the least known of the books on this list is a fiction account of a true story about children in Norway smuggling gold behind the Nazis backs. I read this as a child and when I learned that we were going to have a baby it was one of the first books I thought of buying for him/her.

9. Abraham by Bruce Feiler

Abraham was introduced to me in a Missions class taught by Juanita Leonard in seminary. Feiler is a journalist who travels to the Middle East in order to investigate the man behind the 3 major monotheistic Religions, in chronological order, Judaism, Christianity, Islam. It made me realize that while each of these religions may have their differences we also have much in common. I believe that the peaceful way forward in both the Middle East and around the world is to focus on those connections as opposed to our differences.

And since its my list I am going to take a little liberty and say

10. Peanuts by Charles Schulz

Of course Peanuts is not strictly a book, but rather a comic strip. On the other hand though, I own quite a few books that contain Peanuts strips, and as I said it is my list, so there. I enjoyed Peanuts as I was growing up, but I do not think I fully appreciated it until I was older and could grasp the multi-layered comedy and brilliance that Schulz packed into those few squares. Along with the many books I own I also have a little collection of Peanuts memorabilia including stuffed animals, figures, and ornaments.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Moses and the back of God CBO 2010

So, this meditation comes from the 2010 CBO Meditation Journal, on the theme God With Us from Colossians 1:19-20.

Moses and the Back of God

"Then I will remove my hand, and you will see me from behind. But my face will not be seen."
Exodus 33:23

Sometimes I wonder if God really is with us.  So often it seems like God is easy to miss.  Like in those times when you pray for peace and there is no peace, or you pray for strength and there is no strength.  In those moments God can seem very far away indeed.  And it’s in moments like those that I try to remember something I read about Moses and his interactions with God.

In Exodus 33 Moses implores God to show him God’s glory; amazingly God complies with the request.  But since God is God Moses can not see God’s face, so God says he will cover Moses with his hand and that Moses will only be able to see God’s back.  In his book Velvet Elvis, pastor/author Rob Bell says that some of the ancient Jewish rabbis argued that “the word back should be understood as a euphemism for ‘where I just was.’”

This concept makes a lot of sense to me, because I can more likely see God interacting in situations when I look back.  So often when I am in the midst of a moment I lose sight of the larger implications and the more mystical aspects.  It is when I look back that I truly understand the amazing set of circumstances, words, and people that it took to carry me through, and it is then that I truly realize that God is most assuredly always with us.

+ How have you seen God working in your daily life?

+ Is it easier to notice God’s moving after you look back at moments?

+ Pray that God will open your heart and your eyes so that you can see where God is moving today.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Proud to be a Replacement CBO 2011

So, this comes from the 2011 CBO Meditation Journal, on the theme Making Room taken from Luke 2:7.

Proud to be a Replacement

‘For I know the plans I have for you’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’ Jeremiah 29:11

I've never told this to anyone before, but I was never supposed to be a pastor, that was Kevin’s job. Growing up in church everyone always said that my friend Kevin would be a preacher and I would be on Broadway. I loved acting and singing so I was fine with that. I don’t know if being a pastor was ever Kevin’s plan, I never asked and he never said. Whatever the case it never happened, last I knew he was in the Navy.

Years passed and I began to feel a tug on my heart, and a feeling that maybe God wanted me to become a pastor. It was such a foreign concept that I spent some of my time in undergrad crawling toward it and the majority of the time running from it. It wasn’t until after graduation while I was living at home and working at a golf course that I finally relented. Now I have finished seminary, finally started the ordination process, and am looking for churches.

Maybe this is the path that I was always supposed to follow, but I tend to think that maybe it was Kevin’s and he chose something else and so God needed someone else and then chose me. Sometimes we only have to stop and give in so that God can make room in us so that we can make room for others.

+ In what ways do you need to give in so God can use you?

+ Have you ever felt that you were the replacement, how has God reassured you?

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Peace, a fullness CBO 2012

So, this meditation comes from the 2012 CBO Meditation Journal with the theme A Child is Born stemming from Isaiah 9:6.

Peace, a fullness - 2012

"Jesus replied, "What is impossible with men is possible with God." Luke 18:27

We are promised a Prince of Peace into a world that appears to be ever more violent.  But, while Jesus may have been given to give us external peace, if we are willing to seek it, he most definitely came to give us peace internally.  So often we go through life and we wonder why we cannot find peace.  But is it really any wonder when we carry a bundle of anger and resentment at the world around us.  We are consistently holding things against our leaders our neighbors our friends our families and even ourselves.  We need to let go of all of that before we will ever find peace.

I think this, more than anything else, is what Jesus is really trying to tell the rich young ruler in Luke 18.  It was not about the actual money and possessions that the man had, but rather all that it meant to him, both the positive and the negative.  Only by letting go of the things we hold on so tightly too can we ever be free enough to find peace.  It is never the next thing that will bring us that elusive happiness security or peace, it is letting go of both our desire for the next thing as well as our love for the current things.

+What must you let go of in order to find peace in your life? Money? Anger? People? Things?

+Think back on the times that you were peaceful, where were you, what was happening, how can you find that place again?

Peace and Love,

Pastor K

Irrational Hope CBO 2013

So, each year Christian Women Connection (formerly Women of the Church of God) puts out a Meditation Journal to coincide with the yearly Christ Birthday Offering. For many of the past 8 years I have been fortunate enough to have been asked to write a Meditation. [And I am absolutely positive that it has nothing to do with the fact that my wife is the person in charge of the offering and its various parts] While I know that not all of my friends attend a Church of God and I can safely assume that it is possible that even the ones that do may have not picked up a journal, let alone read my devotions I have decided that the next few blogs will cover my various devotionals. I hope that they may be of some use for you.

Irrational Hope - 2013

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

Have you ever realized that most times in order to be hopeful there has to be an element of irrationality to our thought processes? This dawned on me recently when, despite the dire circumstance and despite the fact that things seemed consistently more bleak my wife and I believed that things would work out. Yes, part of the reason that we had hope was because God had brought us through one thing after another not much worse for wear over the 7 or so years we have been married, but there was also that element of irrationality. That element that said no matter how bad things were or how bad things looked to be going, God would lead us through the storms, through the darkness.

I figure that Daniel felt similar when he was in the lion’s den, sure it was dark and scary, sure the lions were large and powerful and hungry, but he still believed that God would keep him safe.

I figure that Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego felt similar when they faced a fiery furnace, sure they were on death’s doorstep, they could feel the heat from afar, and feel the flames up close, but their faith that God would rescue them never wavered.

I figure that Mary and Joseph felt similar when they were told that the baby would be God, sure she was a virgin, sure it seemed unlikely, but they believed in the messages they had received.

Perhaps today you are in the midst of the darkness, perhaps today you are in the midst of the storm, hold on to the irrationality of hope, because God will never leave nor forsake you.

+ Take a moment to remember what God has already brought you through; what steps can you take to not forget those times?

+ I mentioned just a few Biblical illustrations of people who had hope, who else comes to your mind?

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Lullabies and Mixed Up Lyrics

So, each night when we put Henry to sleep we play music. We have a wide range of options, from instrumental versions of Hymns, Michael W. Smith, Queen, and Kayne West to Lullaby albums from Jewel and Nick Lachey to just normal albums by Andrew Peterson, Andrew Osenga, and Jack Johnson, but my favorite artist to listen to while I am trying to convince Henry its time to sleep is Joshua Kadison.  If you are someone who matured musically in the 90's you might remember Josh by his 3 hits (Jessie, Beautiful in My Eyes, and Picture Postcards from LA) off his debut album (Painted Desert Serenade). And then for most of you he fell off your radar, but I continued to follow him and love everything he put out, which is not enough if you ask me.

I was listening to Painted Desert Serenade a couple hours ago and was reminded that when I first bought the album I was surprised by the lyrics of the song Jessie. When it first rose to popularity I thought that Jessie called at 5 am and said that they could move to Mexico Youth Academy, but in reality she says that we can move to Mexico you, the cat, and me. I don't know why I thought it was a youth academy, maybe it was because I was still a youth at the time, or maybe my ears simply played tricks on me.

As I have mentioned from time to time I used to write song lyrics [I say used to because it has been quite a while that I wrote a song that had more than three lines and was not intended to get Henry to calm down or go to sleep], in addition I am that guy that when he buys a new CD/download the first thing I do is check the booklet to see if lyrics are included and then I follow along for my first full listen. I love the way people put words together, my favorite bands/singers are those that are the best lyricists or at least pick the best lyrics to sing.

Now, I remember when Seal released Kiss from a Rose and I was so curious about some of the lyrics, specifically where or when was this kiss? Was it a kiss from a rose in the rain, on the brain, or a train or grain or drain or something completely different, what exactly was this guy singing about? And I remember someone asking him what he was singing and he said something along the lines of it doesn't really matter what I am singing what matters is what you are hearing, how you interrupt it. At the time that answer irritated me to no end, but back then I was a black and white type of guy, I consistently wanted to know what was right and wrong, whether that was politically, religiously, or lyrically.

If you have been following this blog for any amount of time you will realize that I am not the guy anymore, I pretty much live in the grey areas. And while I still believe that there are certain things that are right and wrong, politically, religiously, lyrically, I think that they are a lot less things than I used to think. I like to think that this has to do with a stronger understanding of grace and love, or it could be that I have begun to grow tired of arguing. I have been becoming a person who would rather leave as friends than as conqueror and conquered, rather leave with the possibility open that we may talk again than leave with the conversation over and done with forever.

I am still a work in progress, and truth be told I am beginning to think that I always will be in progress, and truth be told I am becoming very peaceful in that knowledge. To that end, I apologize for the times I may still try to 'win' when I should be playing for the tie, I apologize for the times I come across as a jerk, or worse. I apologize for the times when I fight for my Youth Academy when it really is you, the cat, and me.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Death Out the Window

So, a week ago I talked about it being a bad week, and it continues. Among a plethora of other things that have entered my world in the 8 days that have been this month,my car broke down. We took it in last Thursday and picked it up on Friday. Then I drove it home and it had the same issue that we took it in for. I called our mechanic and he said to bring it back in when I could and they would continue looking it over to see if there was some other problem.

We brought it in on Saturday morning and Saturday afternoon we got a call saying that they still couldn't diagnose the problem yet, so the car sat there until Monday. Monday I attended the General Assembly for Indiana Ministries of the Church of God. Before the end of the day I got another phone call from my mechanic.

This call was not a good one, it turns out that my car had one of two problems. The first option was that I had a blown head gasket, and because of the complexities of my particular engine that would be about $2000 to fix. The other option was that I had a cracked cylinder, which would necessitate getting a new engine, or rather a used engine, with slightly less miles than my current engine has on it (right around 95,000). This second option is in the neighborhood of $2500. In addition, my car is a 2002, in peak form it is only worth $3500. In case you haven't guessed, we decided to not fix it.

We picked it up today and I drove it the four miles or so home, and in those four miles things were clunking around. By the time I got home my car was smoking in several places.

This evening I went through the task of removing my personal items from my car, because we are most likely going to be selling it for peanuts to a scrap yard or to someone who buys junk cars. Unfortunately buying another car is just not in the cards at the moment, so we are going to be living as a one car family. Thankfully our schedules work in such a way that it shouldn't cause too much issues. But...

As I sit here typing these words I could look out my window and see my car, which I will most likely never drive again. It hasn't been the greatest vehicle to ever be driven, but it has been mine. It has been hit 3 times while sitting still (it's a red SUV). It hasn't had air conditioning in years. It has been overheating randomly. My battery connections kept getting corroded. But, it has been my car and I paid for it from day one. And now it just sits there.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The tension between stagnation and progress

This blog comes from the confluence of the following three moments:

Moment #1: The other day at work my coworker brought in a book that she is reading for a college class. The book is titled, The Way We Never Were, and it seems [through a quick look at the table of contents] to be about how we often romanticize the past through our incorrect reminisces of the past.

Moment #2: This afternoon on the car ride home from church, Mary was telling me how several people asked her about Henry's shoes, or lack thereof. She mentioned how they all expect him to wear shoes since he is now walking some. We talked about how the current understanding is that babies learn to walk better if they do not wear shoes in the beginning. We continued to talk about progress and how some people don't realize that there has been any [progress] since, for instance, they raised children.

Moment #3: Later in the car ride [it is 2+ hours] Mary read me an entry from a blog that someone she follows on twitter had re-posted. The post was about a particular church that the author and his two sons were visiting. It was a centennial anniversary Sunday, but the church only seemed to be focusing on where they had been with no obvious look as to where they might be headed.

These three moments built upon each other, one after another, until my head was awash in the past and how we sometimes get stuck there in the moment. The thoughts swirled around a little more and I started thinking about those people who do not realize that progress is happening right around them. They fail to have the peripheral vision to see what is going on right around the corner. After a few seconds my brain then moved to that church who had a past but no semblance of a future. I started to wonder if the problem of the church in today's American context is that we are stuck in the past, not realizing the progress that is happening all around us.

I don't know if you've ever thought about it before, but to a large extent, the American church is decades behind the culture in many aspects. For instance, in another moment in the car ride, my wife and I were talking about certain people's expectations of what a woman should wear when they are preaching to the church. We were talking about national leaders and how they have an antiquated view of women, believing that they should never wear pants when preaching while others are indignant about the casualness of some leaders in the church. Another moment we were discussing the way that even our church conferences tend to be traditional..

[If we are really honest we would understand that the "cutting edge" church is still only bordering on relevant in the society. After all has the church ever touched someone the way that Jay Z, Justin Timberlake, Macklemore, Usher, or even Madonna or U2 has?]

In another moment, my wife and I were discussing the relevance of this past summer's Global Gathering in light of a local Anderson resident who asked Mary "What was up with that gathering thing they had this summer? That was kinda weird, a gathering." And we have been patting ourselves on the back for the great things that happened there.

The things we think are 'right' are antiquated.

The things we think are 'progressive' are still miles behind the current social landscape.

The things we think sound 'cool' are questionable in the the minds of non-church goers.

The words we use make no sense to anyone not indoctrinated in the same dictionary.

Is it any wonder that when most people think about the "Church" they think of hypocritical, gay bashing, hate mongers?

Is it any wonder that people leave the church in droves and come back in a trickle?

Based on the earlier three moments I believe I have three action steps for the church as a whole, steps for us to reenter the conversations that we have been excluded from, steps for us to become relevant again, steps for us to save ourselves, because unbelievers may be 'lost' but the church is 'dying.'

Step One: We need to begin to examine where our nostalgia takes us. We need to look at our past with 20/20 vision not the rose colored glasses that we tend to wear. Except for the first two weeks or so the early church is not something that we should be attempting to be like. If we are honest, it had at least as many issues as we have today. In my particular Christian 'movement' we need to let go of the idea that D.S. Warner, D.Otis Teasley, F.G. Smith and every other initial from our past did not have the ultimate knowledge of anything. They had some brilliant thoughts for their time, but their time is not our time, let us come up with our own brilliant thoughts for this time.

This is not to say that there is nothing we can learn from the past, but we must remember one important thing, it is the past, not the present, and most definitely not the future.

Step Two: We need to begin to examine the successes of our culture and build upon them. Too often within the church we have done the first part, examined the successes of the culture, and then we just mimicked them in our subculture. This lead us to automatically be behind the culture. Instead we need to build upon the successes that we find, becoming more than they are, not just equals. Perhaps we just haven't trusted God to help us go farther, but my Bible has something about us being able to do all things through Christ who strengthens us.

If God is on our side then we can build upon those successes and we will be in front of the culture. We have a message that no non-religious entity has, a message of love, acceptance, grace, forgiveness, hope, strength, and peace.

Step Three: Once we examine honestly where we've been and where we need to go we then need to actually attempt to go there. Examining our past honestly will do no good if we then don't use our knowledge to move forward. Knowing what the successes of the culture are will mean nothing if we do not attempt to expand them. As I already said we as a church have been living in the past, and we have been doing it for too long. We have linked ourselves to ideologies that have been more political than religious. We have linked ourselves to thoughts time and time again that are proven to be unwelcome in the society. How in the name of all that's holy has the culture time and time again been more moral than the church? The church should be leading the fight for the rights of people, not fighting them. The church should be leading on issues of human dignity, homelessness, hunger, war and genocide, nuclear and chemical weapons. The church that was founded on the principles and life of Jesus should be ahead of the culture not lagging behind.

Whether you love or hate what I have just said I hope you leave with at least this thought bouncing around in your head: "Will the church be at all relevant in 50 years?" I believe we can be, not only that, I believe the church can be stronger in 50 years than we are today. It will not be easy. In fact, it will be hard, as hard as taking up our crosses and following Jesus.

It is my prayer that we will have the strength of mind, strength of heart, strength of soul, and strength of faith to do the things we need to do in order to be the church [the hands and feet of Christ] this world needs us to be.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Crossing the Gulf

So, I have recently come to a conclusion, there is a huge dramatic difference between believing in God and trusting God.

I believe in God, and while it has been difficult at times it has been a fairly steady belief. I trust God, or at least I claim to, but it is so much harder than simply believing. Believing only requires us to have a concept of, or a little faith in, or a thought that we can't get rid of. But trust, trust requires a lot more. It makes us move from a place of believing to a place where we know that God is not only out there somewhere but is right next to us.

But, more than that, God must be more than just right there, God must be on our side, God must want what's good for us, and God must be able to help us to acquire that which is good for us.

Let's break that down one by one.

God MUST be right next to us: If God is not by us what is the point in trusting God? If God is far away what would it mean to trust God? God must be close enough to understand our hurt and understand how to help us stop hurting.

God MUST be on our side: If God is not for us, trusting God would be irrelevant. What would I be trusting God to do? Tear me down? Tear me apart? Laugh at my pain?

God MUST want what is good for us: This is a natural extension of the previous comment. We need a God that is on our side, but more than that we need a God who wants what is best for us. We need to believe that even in the pain and trials that God is ultimately wanting us to succeed, to thrive not just survive.

God MUST be able to help us to acquire that which is good for us: If God is a complete bystander than again what am I trusting God for? God must be on my side and want what's best for me and be able to help me to get that.

I believe all of that, but I also believe that we have a ton more freedom in this life than some 'Christians' think we do. I believe in a God that always wants what's best for us but I believe that God allows us to choose which path we will walk, and depending on that path sometimes stuff happens. But, I also believe that even when we take the path that God would rather us not there is once again a path that will lead us to where God would prefer us to be.

Do you know what I mean?

You see, I believe in two absolute truths, there is a God and I'm not him [or her, or a better pronoun that would encompass both sexes that currently doesn't exist]. Everything after that is open for debate. You see, I am a firm believer in the meeting point of faith and logic, so for me everything I hold to has to make sense in my mind. Some of you may have read that sentence and said, "WHAT!?!" To that I say, "Yep", everything I believe about God makes sense to me, hence what doesn't make sense [say a literal 6 day creation] I discard.

That's how my faith works, so it is easy for me to believe that there is a God behind the creation of the world and the complexities of said world. It is easy for me to believe that God is on my side and on your side, because it makes complete sense to me that if God created the world God would want good things for that world. Which makes it easy for me to believe that God wants what is best for me. It is the next step that I find the hardest to take, from a place where God wants whats best to a place where God works in such a way that God will help me to acquire what is best.

It is that place where I have to have a leap of faith, from believing God to trusting God. Trusting that God is moving in this world in a way that will ultimately lead me to a place where I am in the place that is best for me and Mary and Henry.

I still have questions. I still have doubts. But I am daily attempting to cross the gulf.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

On the Way to the Way 5: Purchases and Pains

"Don't take much. 

Don't worry too much about preparing. 

The journey itself will prepare you for whatever you need to be prepared for."

Charles Foster

I've come an important conclusion today, it is a good thing that I am not planning on going on pilgrimage too soon. Why? Because I do not know how to correctly operate a walking stick. Yes, that's right, I said a walking stick.

I had been thinking about buying a walking stick for sometime. On the trails I walk people will occasionally have them. In addition in the movie The Way, which is a large part of the inspiration for this little jaunt several of the characters use them, one person uses two. I briefly thought about buying a two pack,  but for my current walks I help Henry keep steady with one hand so I only have one hand free, hence I purchased one walking stick.

I looked at several places and the prices were very similar so I decided I would just pick it up at Wal-Mart. I had looked at their selection a few times and decided that I wanted a metallic green one, they only had one of those but I held out hope that it would be there when I finally decided to pick it up. I went on Monday and lo and behold it was there, except some crazy customer had decided they wanted a closer look, so the packaging was damaged. Not only that, but when I examined it to make sure the previous examiner hadn't messed with it the lower third came off in my hand. So, I bought a blue one instead.

As I said I bought it Monday with the plan to try it out that day, but due to several unforeseen occurrences I did not get to go hiking that day. Then my car decided to go crazy on Tuesday so I didn't get to go then either. Finally Henry and I got to set out today.

I have never owned a walking stick before [although is it rally a walking stick if it it made out of aluminum?] but I have occasionally picked up a stick along my walks in life, and they never seemed all that complicated. To that end I thought I could just pick this one up, make it the right length and go to town [or forest]. I would place the stick a couple feet ahead of me, and pick it back up once I had walked past it. Now, I don't know exactly what I did wrong, but I ended up getting the beginning of a blister on my thumb.

I am guessing that I incorrectly operated the walking stick. Either that or as Mary suggested I need walking stick gloves. I've never thought that I did but, perhaps I have dainty hands?

Are any of you out there walking stick aficionados? If so give me your wisdom, if my thumb begins to get a blister after 2 and a half miles it may just fall off after 500.

Buen Camino,
Pastor K

A Quest for Self

So, Is it possible to be honest and vague at the same time? Cause that's what I want to be right now. Well, partly. I would rather be completely honest but for reasons that I can't go into I cannot be honest right now, not completely.

I cannot tell you what's been going through my mind. I cannot tell you how I feel. I cannot go into the things I'd like to go into. I cannot because...

It has been a bad week [and yes, it is only Tuesday...] certain things have happened that have caused me to question other things, including myself. I am told that maybe things will work out for the better long term, but right now I don't give a rip about long-term, what I do find myself caring about is this moment and the next moment. Then, as is the usual case, other things happened as well that has grown my anger my stress my resentment and my worry.

I'm probably not even supposed to say that last sentence, probably not supposed to feel those things, let alone actually speak their names but I want to be honest, even if that honesty has to be vague.

I exist in a place between and that place has been grating on my nerves for quite some time. One step forward, one step back, two steps forward, one step back, one step back, and I am where I began. If you've been there you get it, if you haven't I envy you. Envy, another thing I shouldn't admit to, but I am beginning to get tired of what I am and am not supposed to admit to.

I don't have it all together, and I haven't for quite some time. This should not come as a surprise to anyone who has read this blog extensively, nor should it for those who have read sporadically.

In my last blog I alluded to the fact that I miss who I used to be, more and more I feel the need to find that guy again. Though, I'm not exactly sure where along the way I lost him. This month more than anything else, I am on a quest to rediscover the person I used to be, because I need a little of him to make this package that is me even better.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Welcome to Creatober

So, I have decided that my online footprint is in need of drastic reduction. I have spent way too much time on my phone, reading news, playing games, waiting with baited breath for a few new stories on Facebook. I have escaped my life by reading about others and I have judged my life based on the good things that have happened to others. Because of this I have decided to, if not completely fast from the internet, at least reduce its meaning in my life for awhile.

So, I have decided that for the month of October I will be online a lot less than normal. Today I started removing apps from my phone. For the next month my phone will be a phone and nothing else. I will not sit around playing Candy Crush or Sudoku or Where's the Water? or any other game. I will not read USA Today and ESPN like an addict. I will not check Facebook every few minutes.

I will still check Facebook, but only once a day for a few minutes.

And I will still be updating my blogs.

In fact I dare think that I will be updating them at the pace of the last week where I have written 4 blogs, as opposed to the pace I had been with a blog every month or so. My goal is to have quite a few new blogs by the time October ends, hence the name Creatober.

I need to re-calibrate and recenter, I am not burnt-out by I see myself heading down a path that could lead to that place. I need to lesson the spheres I am paying attention to so that I can take care of my sphere a little better. I need to stop listening to the multitude of voices that exist in the world and pay attention to a select few, especially the voice of God.

My phone will be laid down so I can pick up a few more books. My internet usage will be more sparse so that I can live more in the real world and less in the virtual. My need for technology will fade a little so that my need for true connection with those who circle my life can be realized.

I have spent too many days staring at a screen rather than teaching my son. I have spent too many nights staring at a screen rather than talking to my wife. I have spent too many moments staring at a screen and forgetting the Almighty is moving.

So, for the next 31 days I will attempt to find the guy I used to be, because I liked him a lot, and if I'm honest, I'm starting to miss him.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

On the Way to the Way 4: Standing on Holy Ground, Everywhere

We begin today with a quote from pg. 90 of the The Sacred Journey by Charles Foster.

"Fetish Worship"? Because they climb a staircase of dubious historicity? Hardly. We all worship our own synthetic images of God. Growing Christian maturity simply means that the images become incrementally less inadequate. "[God] is the great iconoclast," C.S. Lewis truly wrote. He is constantly smashing up the images we have of him. And anyway, no one is in any danger of confusing God with a staircase or a saint's mummified head. There's a real and malignant danger of confusing God with the things that Scripture says about him.

Foster writes this when talking about the Scala Sancta [Holy Staircase] in Rome that is believed [most likely incorrectly] to be the stairs that led to Pilate's Praetorium which supposedly Jesus walked up and down going to and leaving his 'trial'.

Tomorrow I will be preaching out of 1 Samuel 16 the story of the anointing of David as the future king of Israel as well as David being chosen as Saul musical soother and armor-bearer. 

What do these two things have to do with each other? Fair Question.

I see it this way. Samuel first thinks that David's older brother would be selected the next king because he fit the role. God told Samuel that God does not look at people the way that we do, so one after another after another of David's brothers are looked at and discarded until David is called back from the field and chosen.

In the same way, through the ages we have chosen things/places/events that we consider more holy than others. For some it may be a grand cathedral [like St. Peter's Basilica or the Brooklyn Tabernacle], for others a battlefield [like Ghettysburgh or Normandy] for some its a destination after a 500 mile walk [like the remains of St. James] for some its a place where they feel they experienced God. None of these are wrong if we are seeking with the correct heart. 

Remember when Moses was wandering the desert and he came upon a bush that was burning but not consumed? Remember what God told him? Moses was standing on holy ground. Most likely it was a patch of land that Moses had passed a hundred times, with the same bush growing there [probably not on fire each time unless Moses was extremely unobservant]. Had the land just become Holy? Or had the land always been Holy and Moses was now just being told it was. Are any of those places/events/things really holier than any other place/event/thing? I can't definitively answer one way or the other, but may guess is no, each spot is holy, we just need to open our eyes to it.

So why pilgrimage? To some extent with an understanding that all ground is holy I should be able to walk outside my door [or stay inside] and be as close to God as I would be if I took a long way across Spain. But there is still that part of me that longs for the journey, it is my belief that the journey is what is important, not the destination. So I could walk 500 miles anywhere, I just think this particular journey is the journey for me.

Buen Camino,
Pastor K

Beauty and the Image

So, I took a walk with Henry today, and I took a walk with Henry yesterday, and I have been taking walks with Henry every so often. We take these walks at the local state park, Mounds, and I think we both enjoy them. But today I came to the realization that too often I fail to recognize the beauty that is all around us while we walk. Henry rides in a Baby Bjorn carrier [purchased used at Once Upon a Child] and I am usually looking directly ahead or down at the path, making sure that I don't stumble or trip over any branches or nuts or stray leaves. I do this for protection, but I wonder if by doing it I am doing myself, and to a degree Henry a disservice.

You see, I have been missing the beauty. And not just on those walks.

I have been missing the beauty in Henry when he knocks the spoon away while I try to feed him or when he kicks and screams while I am attempting to change a diaper.

I have been missing the beauty that is my wife, when I get angry over small things that I should just be a big boy and get over, but instead I hold onto them as if they have real significance.

I have been missing the beauty of my weekly road-trip to church, because many times it just seems like a task to complete before I have to do my job and then a task to complete before I get to rest at home.

I have been missing the beauty that is my town when I allow the beast inside to roar when someone doesn't use a turn signal or doesn't pay attention to anyone but themselves at Wal-Mart.

I have been missing the beauty that is in this world because of tragedy after tragedy, sorrow after sorrow. I see the anger and I miss the beauty.

I have been missing the beauty in my day and week and month.

And I have been missing the beauty that is in myself, that Imago Dei, Image of God, that resides in my being, but I look over so often.

That Image that is plastered not just on myself, but on Mary and Henry and the people in my town and state and country and across the globe.

That Image that says that everyone has meaning and purpose and is cared for and wept over.

That Image that calls us back to where we came from, back to who we came from.

That Image that shines through us in those times of sorrow when we run toward the fire or storm, or bullet instead of running away.

That Image that convicts and sets us free from within.

That Image that connects us and binds us and frees us to love.

I have been missing that Image and the beauty because I have focused on the moment instead of the eternal.

I have been missing that Image and the beauty because I have let anger and fear and mistakes and failure overrule love.

and Love wins, always has, always will.

So right now, in this moment I will choose to see the beauty, choose to remember the Image, choose love.

So, Henry and I took a walk today, and we took a walk yesterday. I'm not sure if we will take a walk tomorrow or not, but the next time we do I hope to see the world through new eyes.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The Sermon that Wasn't

So, I started a new sermon series this week in church, The Heart of a King, focusing on the life of King David. Why King David? Well the first reason is that I went and put my sermon titles and scriptures in calendar form and came to the realization that I have been spending the very vast amount of my time preaching from the New Testament. To a point this makes compete sense, I am a Christian Pastor and Jesus is by and large found in the second part of the Bible (though not exclusively). But while I am a proponent of the second part being more important than the first part, I still believe that there is a wealth to be read, learned, and wrestled over in the First (Old) Testament. To that end I decided that my next series [following my 16 weeks in the Gospel of Mark] would be something out of the First Testament.

I had narrowed it down to three possibilities: a) the Exodus b) the 12 minor prophets or c) the life of David. After thinking about it I decided to wait on the minor prophets until sometime next year when I have a 12 week or more stretch, some of those minor prophets ain't so minor if you know what I mean. I also decided to wait on the Exodus until sometime later as well. And so by simple process of elimination [as well as asking on Facebook and the one parishioner who responded saying King David] I decided to look at the life of David.

When I started thinking about David I was obviously going to start with the story of his being chosen from his many brothers, but then I started thinking 'should we first talk about why David needed to be chosen first?'. This led me to think I should first talk about Saul, but then I decided to take another small (one chapter) step backwards and talk about why there was a king in the first place. And I thought that since I was looking at the story of Saul, the story of why there was need of a king and why a king in the first place I decided that I would tell it in a story format.

To that end I began to set out to rewrite 1 Samuel 8-15. I burned through the rewriting of chapter 8 and the beginning of chapter 9, but then I had to take a break in the writing because of life. When I came back to it I picked up in verse 9 and muddled my way through 10-13, and by that point it was late on Saturday evening and I needed to put Henry to sleep and sleep some myself.

So, I had to abandon my story plan, and go with a 'normal' sermon. I got props from several members so it seemed to go just fine anyway, but there was still a part of me that wishes I could have finished my plan. I still plan to finish my story form someday and maybe do it the way I originally planned if I ever get around to revisiting the scripture. But since I do not know if that day will ever come I will share what I do have completed with you, my constant reader. Enjoy.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The Heart of the King: Prologue

8

As best as I recall this is how the story is told. Samuel, a prophet and judge of Israel, appointed by God, was growing old. He had appointed his sons as judges and the people grumbled. The people rose up and came to Samuel and begged him to appoint a king.

Samuel had no love for the idea of appointing a king, and so Samuel did what Samuel always did in times of distress, he went before the Almighty. In his mighty wisdom God understood that it was not that the people had a problem with Samuel, but rather with God’s own leadership. “They have consistently chosen the other as opposed to me, even from the first days when  Moses, through my power, led them from out of Egypt.”

God said, “It is not surprising that they would make this request but I need you to explain to them what an earthly king will mean for them.”

Samuel went before the people and spelled it out in clear terms, “If you want a king things will be different. He will take your sons and your daughters, your fields and your work, and your time and your money for his purposes. He will take the best of everything and leave the leftovers for you. And one day you will cry out to the Almighty to save you from this King you plead for today.”

Their reply was simple, and sad. “We choose a king to rule over us so that we will be like all the other nations.”

God understood that from time to time we lowly humans asked for our will instead of his perfect one. To that end, “Give them their king,” was all God could reply.

9

There was a man of power and prestige named Kish, he was a Benjaminite living among the other descendants of Benjamin. And this man had a son named Saul, who was quite attractive, and quite imposing, and who stood taller than any other man in Israel.

Kish lost some of his donkeys and he sent Saul to find them. Saul and his servant traveled through Ephraim, Shalishah, and Shaalim, after that they left the land of Benjamin yet the donkeys were nowhere to be found. They went so far that Saul began to wonder if his father would soon be looking for him as opposed to the donkeys.

His servant told him about a man of God who lived in the region, who might be able to help. After learning that the servant had enough silver that they could present to the man of God as a gift, Saul decided to search this man out. On their way they learned, from a group of girls, that the prophet was preparing a sacrifice.
The day before the Almighty had spoken to Samuel telling him about a young man that would come the same time the next day, a man who would be given strength to lead the Israelites against the Philistines and a man that would be anointed king.

When Samuel first laid eyes on Saul the Almighty spoke again, “This is the man I was talking about, he will rule over my people.”

Samuel invited young Saul to eat the meat of the sacrifice, and told him not to worry about his father’s donkeys for they had already been found. Samuel went on to tell Saul that while the donkeys were of no concern Israel was concerned for Saul and his family.

Saul, being a somewhat humble man told Samuel that he was from a poor family from a small town and the smallest of the 12 tribes. Samuel took Saul and his servant inside and sat them in places of honor and gave them the choice cuts of the meat. They ate, they drank, and they were merry.

The next day Samuel walked with Saul and his servant. “Tell your man to go a little further away so that you and I may talk.”

10

Samuel took a vial of olive oil and poured in onto Saul’s head and kissed him.

“The Almighty has commanded me to anoint you as king over all of Israel. When you leave this place you will first meet two men who will tell you that the donkeys you were searching for have been found and returned to your father. Next you will encounter three men going to make sacrifice, they will give you two loaves of bread. After them you will come across a group of prophets prophesying and you will be caught up in their ecstasy and prophesize as well. The spirit of the Almighty will flow down on you and you will become a different man.”

Saul got up to leave and the Almighty transformed his heart, and everything that Samuel had said would happen did indeed happen. When Saul and his servant finally returned home they encountered Saul’s uncle who asked where they had been. Saul told them about not finding the donkeys and then looking for Samuel who told them that the donkeys had been found. But Saul didn't utter a sound about the anointing.

Sometime later Samuel called all the tribes of Israel together at Mizpah.

“The Almighty has words for you, ‘I brought you from out of Egypt, rescuing you from slavery and then I delivered you from all other nations that would subdue you. ‘ Today though you have rejected the one True God who has rescued you and saved you from every disaster and distress and instead ask for a king to rule over you. If this is indeed what you want line up every tribe before the Almighty.”

Samuel brought all 12 tribes in front of him and chose the tribe of Benjamin by casting lots, then chose the clan of Matrites by casting lots, and then chose Saul’s family and finally Saul himself was chosen as King, but he was nowhere to be found. When they found him he was brought in front of the people whom he stood head and shoulders above.

Samuel again spoke to the people, “Do you see this man that was chosen for you as king? No one among the tribes can compare to this man.”

“Long live the King” the crowd responded.

The people were dismissed, and after leaving gifts for Saul they departed. Saul also departed for home along with a group of warriors that the Almighty had nudged to go with him.

There were, as there often are, some people who scoffed at Saul’s choosing. He is of no standing and comes from lowly Benjamin, how can he protect us?” And they did not give a gift, but Saul was silent.

11

A month later Nahash, the king of the Ammonites, besieged Jabesh-gilead. The people of Jabesh attempted to make a treaty with Nahash. “I will make a treaty with you on one condition, and one condition only, you must allow me to put out the right eye of every one of you so that all of Israel will be humiliated.” To this the people replied, “give us 7 days and if no help comes we will surrender under those terms.”

Messengers were sent out to all corners of the land, when they came to Gibeah, the land where ruled the people of Gibeah wept out loud for their suffering. Saul, who had been out plowing fields entered during this commotion and asked what was going on.

Upon hearing of the peoples trials Saul, overcome by the spirit of God, took a team of oxen cut them to pieces and sent them throughout the land of Israel with his first royal decree: “May those who refuse to answer the call be torn apart like this.” The people were afraid of Saul and the Almighty, and so they sent men numbering 300,000, 30,000 from Judah alone.

The messengers of Jabesh were sent back with the news of help. Then the people declared to Nahash that they would surrender the next day. That night though Saul forces entered the Ammonite camp and slaughtered them until the next afternoon. They were so decimated that it is said you could no longer find two Ammonites together.

The people came to Samuel and declared that those who had previously scoffed at Saul would now be punished, but Saul said, “No one will die today because the Almighty has given us this great victory.” Instead Samuel declared that the people return to Gibeah and crown Saul as King. People from all the tribes journeyed to Gibeah and there they offered sacrifices to God, crowned Saul king, and partied like never before.

12

To this point a king has not been a bad move on the part of Israel, they were in a time of trouble and the King saved them, they continued to praise the Almighty and Saul continued to follow him as well. But sometimes blessings aren't the blessings we think they are at first.

Samuel again stood before all of Israel and asked them if they had complaints with him as they did his sons. “Have I done you any kind of wrong, if I have speak now, to the Almighty and I will stand condemned.”

“You have never cheated us, never threatened us, and have never taken anything from anyone.”

“Then let the Almighty see that you have found me innocent of any wrongdoing.”

“He is our witness.”

Samuel then went on to detail all that God had done for them since the time of Jacob. How he had delivered them time and time again. How they had continually waffled between praise and bad behavior. How God had continued to take care of them and forgive them when they would turn back to him. He then reminded them that by wanting an earthly king they spit in the face of their eternal king. But even now if they would follow God’s commands then they and their king would still find favor.

The people begged Samuel to pray to God on their behalf so that they would not perish because of adding their desire for a king to their already hefty sins.

“Do not be afraid, before you chose God, God had already chosen you. Follow him and he will continue to protect and bless you. As for me I will always continue to pray for you, anything less would be a sin against the Almighty.”

13

How many steps does it take to move away from God? Just one step.

A series of events started with Saul’s son Jonathan destroying a group of Philistines at Geba. Saul was so happy that he told all of Israel to rejoice at this victory. The people heard the glorious news of Jonathan’s victory but they also heard that the victory had enraged the Philistines. Saul called the people to come and they came, yet they were deeply afraid at the same time.

Now the Philistines had gathered a large force with 6000 horsemen, 30000 chariots and so many soldiers that they were like the grains of sand on a beach. When the people of Israel saw this they hid in caves and holes in the ground, among rocks and tombs and cisterns, some even ran away. Saul remained with the people who remained and continued to see his numbers dwindle.

Now Samuel had told Saul to wait for seven days and then Samuel would arrive and give offerings of peace and victory. Saul waited the seven days and Samuel was nowhere to be seen, so Saul waited a few more days and then decided to do the burnt offering himself even though he was neither prophet nor priest.

The aroma of the sacrifice still lingered in the air when Samuel finally arrived and realized the harm that had been done. “What have you done?” Saul replied, “I did what needed to be done, the people were deserting me and you were late, and the Philistines are knocking at my door. I knew I needed the blessing of the Almighty and you weren't here to ask for it, so I did.”

With a voice like thunder Samuel responded, “You fool, you fail to follow the commands of God. God who would have established your rule forever, but will now move your anointing to another.”

Where does the gospel of Mark end?

So, have you ever read the Gospel of Mark? If you have you may have noticed that when you get to chapter 16 there is a note following verse 8 that states "The earliest manuscripts and some other ancient witnesses do not have verses 9-20." and then it goes on to include verses 9 through 20. These verses include certain things that line up with the Gospels such as Jesus commanded his followers to take the gospel into the whole world, but  then it also includes v.16-18 which I personally find a little odd.

"Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs accompany those who believe: in my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and the will get well." (NIV)

I don't know about you, but I can honestly say that I have never driven out a demon, spoke in a tongue [other than a little Spanish and ancient Greek], drank poison, or healed a person, which if I were to take the previous statement seriously I would have only one conclusion, I am not saved. And while, I suppose, that may be true, I tend to believe differently. So where does Mark actually end? I propose that it in fact ends in verse 8 and here is why.

Matthew and Luke are a little more historical narrative in their approach, they include stories of Jesus birth, his life, death and resurrection.

John is more universal in scope, it starts with a preamble that places Jesus at the very beginning of time, and it ends with v.20 "Jesus did many other things as well. If every one of them were written down, I suppose that even the whole world would not have room for the books that would be written." (NIV)

Mark on the other hand finds little importance with how Jesus entered the world, starting the gospel with an introduction of John the Baptizer preparing the way, Jesus shows up to be baptized. And if we pick v.8 as an ending Mark also only finds it important that Jesus is risen, not what happened following that resurrection.

I believe that Mark boils down Jesus to the bare essentials, here is the Messiah, this is what he taught and how he lived, it led to his death, but that wasn't the end his enemies thought it would be. The end.

I have been preaching through Mark for 16 weeks now, I have had the opportunity to read his words, let them soak into me, at times lifting me up, at times laying me low, in my mind, the Mark that I know ends his gospel in verse 8.

What do you think?

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

The meeting point

So, it has been awhile since I wrote a new blog, and to be honest this is only partly a new blog, well its a new blog entirely but most of what is about to be read has been written more than a year ago.

Why?

Because I am preaching through the book of Mark and this week is Mark 14 and I decided to preach on verses 32-42 which is Jesus in the Garden of Gethsemane. I finished my outline, which is how I do things nowadays and went to save my progress. Low and behold I have already given a sermon on this exact same passage. I wrote that one about a year and a half ago, back when I actually wrote out my entire sermons. I am told that my sermons are better now that I don't write them out, but sometimes I wish I still did, so that I could more easily point to what I had to say.

As I said it has been almost a year and a half, but a lot of what I am going to say tomorrow I said back then, which says something about me consistently being in a place of struggling to a line my will with God's will. To that end I thought I would share my sermon from back then and my outline for tomorrow, wait til you get a load of this.

Everybody Hurts Mark 14:32-42 March 4, 2012

Last week the crowd, this week the garden.  I can only imagine what it must have been like to be with Jesus in that last week.  And it is a fool’s task to try to convey what it may have been like, but we try anyway, because what Jesus went through he went through for us.  The highs and the lows, all for us, so that we would know that he knows what this life is like.  When Jesus comes to the garden he is in pain, a pain that he has never known, a pain that feels like death.  He’s coming up against it now, it may have always been the destination but now its just around the bend.  When I am at work sometimes it goes slow and others it goes fast, but somehow the last hour always goes by at a pretty good pace.  When I look at the clock and know I am almost free everything is all right.  Jesus is coming up to it as well, but for him everything is not all right, most of it is all wrong.

So he gets his closest followers together and he goes to pray.  That is where Jesus finds solace that is where he recharges his batteries, in prayer.  He asks them to stay awake with him, but then he goes off a ways from them, and he prays.  He prays a prayer that we pray all the time.  He asks for a different path, an easier one, one that doesn't require what his current one is about to require.  I have prayed that prayer a thousand times, asking for the difficulties to find someone else to rest on, asking that today might be a little easier than I think it is about to be.  And that is where my prayer usually ends, don’t let it be, Jesus’ goes a little further.  Let this cup pass from me, but if not, not my will but thine.

I don’t know about you but I so often forget that last part, which means I end my prayers my will, thank you very much. What about you how do you end your prayers do we ask for our will or do we ask for God’s will?  So, Jesus prayed and then he went back to his friends to talk to them, and finds them asleep.  So he prays again, and again they fall asleep.  And he prays again and again they fall sleep, then trouble comes.  Or was it already there?  Today we are going to be looking at Jesus’ time in the garden, specifically we are going to be looking at the example that Jesus gives us of a person in trouble.  We all face bad times in our lives but when Jesus faced bad times he found strength in community he found strength in prayer and he found strength in accepting God’s will.

Strength in Community

The first place that Jesus found strength was in community.  To a degree this seems a little odd, after all just a few verses earlier Jesus told his followers that every single one of them would fall away.  He knew that each one would turn tail and run once things didn't go the way they thought they should.  Yet he still found strength in their company, he yearned for it still.  We know this because he takes three of them with him when he goes to pray, but not only that time and time again he comes to them and wants them to be alert.  Jesus knows that Judas will soon be bringing the guards to arrest him, so it is not that Jesus is looking for bodyguards, no what Jesus wants is friends.

Jesus wants someone to talk to, someone he can rely on and his friends keep falling asleep.  His friends who, each in their turn claimed that they would be by his side no matter what came against him.  You have Peter who just a few verses earlier claimed that even if every other disciple left he would stay till the end.  In addition you have James and John who after submitting a request to be at his right and left hand in heaven then staked their own claim that they could drink whatever cup and Jesus had to drink.  But here they all fall asleep, the real trouble hasn’t even come yet and they are already falling asleep.  Have you ever been there?  That place where life has you down and all you really want is a friend to stand by your side?  I know I have, again and again.

There was this one time in college where my girlfriend at the time broke up with me and I was devastated, but my friend R.W. was there to hold on to me as I cried.  There was another time during my freshman year of college where I had to miss the first month of classes in order to have a biopsy done home in West Virginia.  My friend Kevin drove me to Anderson so that I could meet with my professors and get the school work that I would be missing, we ended up driving back in a snowstorm.

At the same time there have been times when I have really needed a friend and my friends have not be there for me.  I have this really good friend named Scott, I would call Scott my best friend, we have been together through some really tough times, but there was one time when I was questioning my call to ministry and I was looking for some reassurance that I was walking the right path.  Luckily I talked to several friends about it, because I talked to Scott and because I believed something that he did not, he told me that I had no right to be a pastor.  Interestingly enough Scott now agrees with me on that particular issue.

While we have times that our friends are there for us we, unfortunately also have those times when are friends are not there for us.  Jesus understands both those times, because like us he has been there.  But even though Jesus knew that his friends weren't always going to be there for him, he still held out hope and love that they would be.  The same must be said for us, yes, by opening ourselves up to our friends, to community, there is always a chance that we could be hurt.  But if we do not open ourselves up we will never have the chance of being loved in return, and if we don’t have a chance to be loved, what kind of life is that?

Strength in Prayer

In addition to finding strength in community Jesus also found strength in prayer.  Time and time again we see Jesus going off to be alone in prayer in the gospels.  As I stated earlier it is in prayer that Jesus is recharged.  But this time Jesus isn’t looking for a recharge he is looking for a way out.  Jesus collapses on the ground in desperate prayer for relief from his impending suffering. He asks that if it’s possible, the hour of his suffering before him might pass. He addresses God as Abba, which is an Aramaic word that means dad or even daddy.

“Abba, Father.” What a daring way to approach God, not as King, not as Ruler, not as Master, but as Father, even as Dad. How audacious, to approach God that way. Yet as followers of Jesus, that’s exactly how we’re invited to come to God in prayer. Romans 8:15 says, For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, "Abba, Father." In seminary there was this guy named Sam who prayed in what I considered a weird way.  He always talked about climbing onto God’s lap and snuggling against his chest.  It always struck me as awkward, but maybe to an extent that is how we should come to God, not as one who is far above us but as a loving parent.
Jesus’ prayer in the garden follows the pattern of an Old Testament prayer of lament. A lament is a cry of deep agony or grief. Yet the Psalms are full of prayers of lament. There are over fifty distinct prayers of lament found in the Old Testament book of Psalms. In addition one entire book of the Old Testament is titled Lamentations.

A prayer of lament usually begins with a desperate plea for help, a cry for relief from some hopeless situation. Then there’s usually a transition from desperation to assurance that God has heard the request and that he will respond with love. Most laments begin with a desperate plea and end with hopeful praise. Jesus’ prayer follows this same pattern, beginning with a desperate plea to be free from the coming hour, to not have to drink the cup of God’s wrath, followed by an affirmation that God has all power to do anything, concluding with a surrender to God’s will.

As Bible scholar David Garland says “In Gethsemane, Jesus meets the dreadful silence of heaven. There is no reassuring voice from heaven….No dove descends…Jesus overcomes the silence, fights off the human temptation to do as he wills, and through prayer acquiesces to God’s will” (Garland 541).

When we see bad things happening coming down the pike in our lives, we’d do well to follow that same pattern. Too often instead of praying the kind of intimate, honest prayer that Jesus prays, we try to think happy thoughts and sing happy songs. We try to persuade ourselves that it’s not really a train at the end of the tunnel, that God would never allow terrible tragedy to hit us. Walter Brueggemann, another Bible scholar, says, “Much Christian spirituality is romantic and unreal a frightened, numb denial that does not want to acknowledge the disorientation of life.” Yet if God allowed his beloved Son to experience suffering, why would we think we’re exempt from such suffering? The prayer of lament we see in Jesus should be a normal part of our Christian experience.

Let’s face it God knows the truth of how we feel, so we might as well be honest in our prayers.  In addition God can take whatever we feel about any situation.  If we are unhappy God can take it.  If we’re sad God can take it.  If we need to yell at God, it is allowed.  Our lives are not happy, happy joy, joy so why should are prayers have to be.  Jesus was honest with God, honest enough to ask for the cup to be taken.  He was honest enough to ask why he was forsaken on the cross, I think that this means that we can be honest with God as well.

Strength in following surrendering to God’s Will

So, like Jesus we should be attempting to find strength in community and like him we should be finding strength in prayer.  In addition we also need to follow Jesus’ example and find strength in surrendering to God’s will. As I said earlier so often when I pray I end with an unspoken ‘my will’ while Jesus ends with a spoken ‘they will.’  It shouldn’t be a surprise that Jesus would pray this way, after all in the Sermon on the Mount when he is teaching his disciples how to pray he uses word like ‘thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.’

Not only is Jesus willing to pray this way but he is also willing to be changed should God not acquiesce to his way of thinking.  And we know that he is changed through his surrender, because the first two times he returns he is asking why his friends couldn’t stay awake, and the third time Jesus come back resolute, knowing that the time is at hand.  In addition if we look into the future we see a calm Jesus who greets him betrayer in love, who speaks to the guards as if they could have taken him at anytime.  We see a Jesus who is calm before the Sanhedrin and before Pilate.  Jesus surrendered and through that was given strength, the same must be said for each of us.

I have often wondered how to know if something is or is not God’s will.  I have often prayed for God to enlighten me so that I would know which path to walk, and often I have heard nothing.  And so I just keep walking the path that I’m on, hoping that if I ever need to walk a different road I will know it.  I think that the same can be said of Jesus in the garden.  After all we have Jesus’ prayer recorded in scripture, but we have no response recorded.  I think this means one of two things, either God responded verbally and we simply have no record of it, or it means that God didn’t respond, it is this option that I think is more likely.  I say this because later Jesus does cry out from the cross, why!

You see we can submit to God’s will even though we are not always sure what that will is.  For instance we can add a ‘thy will’ to the end of our prayers, realizing that what we want may not be the best thing for us to have, and allowing God to insert us into his will as opposed to inserting God into ours.

I believe that more than anything else following Jesus example requires a lot of faith.  The faith of a mustard seed, the faith of a child.  I am sure you have heard the story before of a parent holding out their hands and telling their child to jump, and the son or daughter with no thought jumps, because they know instinctively that their parent will catch them.  The same must be said of us, that we are willing to jump toward God’s open arms secure in the knowledge that if we find strength in community and prayer we will also find strength in God’s will, that we will jump and that God will catch us like the Abba that he is.

And now my outline for tomorrow.

Gethsemane Mark 14:32-42               August 25, 2013

Who’s God to you? : the omnis, a vending machine, something cold and distant, a master to your slave, a loving parent/friend

What do you want? : there are really only two options: your will or God’s will

What will you do? : prayer is an action that requires further action, not fishing

Peace and Love,

Pastor K