I have a friend who is going through a rough time right now. Well, actually they have been going through a rough time for quite some time and thought that they had finally started to see sun-rays breaking through the cloud cover, instead though what was breaking through moments ago disappeared as a new influx of storm clouds swooped in. My friend doesn't know where the sun went, or why it went, or if or when it will ever come back. I understand what this friend is going through better than I would like to admit, I've been there before, stuck in the place when you thought you were on your way out. Since I've been there before I want to offer a little advice to my friend and to other friends, lovers, acquaintances and strangers who might be going through the same or similar thing.
1) Don't give up hope, no matter how hopeless it may seem, the same wind that brought the storm in WILL send the storm out. I know, I know, believe me I know, it may not feel like it will, but it will. There will be a day, and its probably coming sooner than you think, where you will look back on the storm, and look back on the eye of the storm that you thought was the end, and look back on the actual end and think, damn, I'm all right.
2) Focus on this moment, this breath, focusing on only this moment will be the most difficult thing you can learn to do, it may also be the single most useful thing you could do. If you act like you've always acted, the same things will happen, act differently, change your focus, narrow it, right now you are seeing things you can't understand, can't fix, and possible can't even handle, stop looking at it. If you can master only looking where you can and should look, amazing things will start to happen.
3) Once you focus on this moment, begin to focus on the next, the next moment, the next breath, the next step, you don't need to know the final destination, you can't anyway, the final destination ends up changing a million times every hour, all you need to know is the next step, as Martin Luther King Jr. would say, that is faith. And in every facet of life faith is important, and I mean that independent of your views on God, every person has faith, some in a higher power, some in the sun rising, some in themselves, some in mathematics or scientific proofs, but we all have faith and more importantly we all need to have faith, I would argue that we were made that way by God, but you can just say evolution created a need for faith in the hairless monkeys if you prefer.
4) Find someone to talk to, to let it out, be that a person, God, or even yourself, and keep looking if the person you find doesn't show you grace, grace is of utmost importance in the storm, because you're going to make some mistakes, and some of those mistakes will seem like the right thing to do in the moment, forgive yourself, but get rid of anyone who is not forgiving you.
5) Breathe. Just breathe. In every moment breathe. This is you breathing. This is you still breathing. Repeat that as much as you need to, let it become a mantra that is automatic. Breathing will calm you down when angry. Breathing will lift you up when down. Breathing brings you life and energy. Rob Bell, a guy who was officially paid as a pastor and is not any longer, says that the literal word for God is actually the sound of breathing. Rob says that when we are born, the first thing we do is say the name of God, and we die when we can no longer say God's name. There is something strong and comforting in that idea, so remind yourself that you are breathing, if you would like remind yourself that you are constantly saying the name of God. As long as breath is coming into and out of your lungs there is still a chance that things might change, and in truth that chance is 100%, change is constant and if you are waiting for something to change, just give it a little time my friend, it will.
Peace and Love,
Kenny
Let's get back on the road, shall we?
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