Melodies Stuck in My Head 5

Hello, Goodbye - Summer 1998

For awhile during my junior year of college the chorus of this song was my voicemail,

Chorus:
Hello, goodbye
I'll see you on the other side
time has taken you away
now I have nothing left to say

We were friends long ago
best of friends since birth
you grew up weak
I grew up strong
time twisted you
time molded me
I believed in love
you believed in hate
but we always found a common ground
between our wrongs and rights

Chorus: x 2

We never knew each other
strangers through the midst of time
I don't know you
you don't know me
time changed us
but we're still the same
I believe in you
do you believe in me too?
but we never got to find a common ground
between our wrongs and rights

Chorus: x 3


Dreams come Reality - Spring 1999

Over the course of my life I have had my fair share of girlfriends, but I had a ton more crushes, this is about the girl I probably had a crush on the longest. The thing is later I found out that a good chunk of the time I had a crush on her she actually had a crush on me, which of course floored me. This song was written pretty much the day after I found out. I sang it in the car and wrote it down once I finally got to where I was going.

Is this what it feels like when dreams come reality
is this what it feels like now
the stars seems to be
a little more plentiful
the sun seems to be more bright

I've cared for you for so long
thought it was just a dream
I've thought about you nightly
for what seems like a lifetime
and now I'm far away
and now I've found out
my dreams could have been at least somewhat true
now I find while I'm so far away
my dreams could have included you
I don't know why
it takes so long to say the words I need to say
I don't know why
it takes so long to speak honestly

that's kind of the way it works
that's kind of the way it works sometimes
that's kind of the way it works
that's kind of the way it works in my life

Is this what it feels like when dreams come reality
is this what it feels like when hearts meet over distances
so many things in front of us
so many roadblocks
so many things that could have stopped us
so many things that did
but here I am now so far away
and I know the things that I wanted to
I know the things I wanted to

but sometimes that's just the way it is
sometimes that's just the way it is from time to time
sometimes that's just the way it is
sometimes that's just the way it is in my life

here I stand
well actually I'm sitting
here I sit and dreaming about you
I can't believe you were so close and nervous
I can't believe you cared what I thought
I can't believe you wanted me to think you were pretty
because I've always thought you were pretty
I can't believe you wanted me to think you were smart
cause I've always thought you were smart
I can't believe you wanted me to think you were funny
because you make me laugh so much...honey

yeah, that line was kind of lame, I agree
I'm better but not slick and suave
I'm better with a typed word than a spoken word
unless I've got a tune behind it
and I wish I was standing
holding a mic in front of a crowd
cause somehow then I can be so much honest
I can so much real
I can be who I am
but I'm not and I can't and I won't
so it's just a dream
just a dream

but is this what happens when dreams come reality
is this what happen when truth breaks through
is this what happens when hearts connect
over distances that can't be broken through
is this what happens when dreams come reality
is this what happens  when hearts break through
is this what happens when honesty is spoken
is this what happens when walls break down
walls break down
walls break down
who would have thought that dream come reality
who would have thought you'd give a damn
who would have thought we'd ever get here
who would have thought, what comes next?
who would have thought, what comes next?
who would have thought, what comes next?
who would have thought, what comes next?


Maybe I am Human - Summer 1997

I can't see the things of this world
they are attacking me in the dark
these demons I just can't see them
oh, oh, oh but I feel them
I walk around all night and all day
they keep hitting me blindside

Chorus:
maybe I am human
maybe it's just me
maybe this is the way
it is supposed to be
but I doubt it
yes, I doubt it

I know the truth of the matter
this is my fault no one else's
I lost my way and I just can't find it
oh, oh, oh but I need it
I walk around all night and all day
I keep falling down, what can I say

Chorus:

I believe in a God, but I hurt him everyday
in every single way I hurt him so bad
why do I do this, I just don't know why
oh, oh, oh but I need it
I walk around all night and all day
I wish I could stop, but I don't know how

Chorus:

out take:
I wish I could know the truth
I wish I could show the love
I wish I could be the one
I wish I could tell others
I wish I would just stop singing
I was I was more than human [spoken]


Would the World Care? - Spring 1998

You want an over reaction? Well this song is a classic example, I once again had a crush on a girl and she kind of blew me off, so of course I went back to my dorm room and wrote a song questioning whether anyone would care if I died. On a more serious note, if you are in one of those places where you are questioning if the world would care, I don't know if they would, but I sure would miss you all, keep living please.

Would anyone care if I died right now
would anyone even shed a tear
would there be people who cared
I don't think so, and I know so

Chorus:
would the world cared if I died?
would the world even notice if I wasn't here anymore?
would the world care if I died?
would they care at all?

you see, they don't understand my situation
but then again neither do I
for I'm lost down this lonely path
and my tears, they are all dry

Chorus:

I don't think so and I know so
that the world wouldn't think twice
they don't care about a poor soul like me
they rather I just die

but I'm not going to give in so easily
I've done that way too many times
today I stand and make my declaration
today is the day that I fight

Chorus:

Well today I don't care if they care anymore
I don't care if they'd notice at all
cause today is the day I start living
today is the day I survive


Song I can't Sing - Spring 1998

walking down this street
listening to the beat
tapping my feet
knowing where to go

Chorus:
hey everybody, won't you listen to me
I've got a voice and a heart
and a song I can't sing
because none of you will give me the time
and you definitely don't wanna listen to my rhyme
but I don't care, I'm gonna belt it out anyway

walking down this street
now I'm the one with the beat
hey won't you tap your feet
cause I know where to go
and if you're willing I'll lead you home

Chorus:

cause I've got the rhythm and I've got the rhyme
and I know the score
and I won't take it anymore
cause I know I'm just as good as you
even though you look down at me

Chorus:

Now I'm a happy man
because I had a voice
and I had a heart
and I had a song you didn't want me to sing
but I sang it any old way

Melodies Stuck in My Head 4

A Day in the Life - Verse 1 Summer 1999, finished Fall 1999

Alarm sounds at quarter till 5
I get up and get back in the grind
work at a job for a measly $5.50
work all day to put food on my plate
get home at 6 after a 9 hour day

when I was young
I had so many dreams
but dreams die
and dreams pass away
now all I'm left with
is this life

Had a kid at 16
got married at 18
she left the other day
with some guy for the city
his suit cost more than my car

guess she was done
we lost our dreams
our dream died
our dream passed away
now all I'm left with
is this life

Now the kid is 10
and I'm 26
he was my everything
but now he's gone
drunk driver took him out

guess he was done
he lost his dreams
my son died
my wife passed me by
now all I'm left with
is this life

there's got to be
something better than this
but I can't find it
there's got to be
something better than this
have you got a line on it?


Lilies Bloom Again - Winter 1997

every single day
in every single way
life goes on
life also ends
roses bloom
violets scream
and...the lilies bloom again

Chorus:
the sun goes down
the rain goes away
and the lilies leave
but...I wanna see
the lilies bloom again

walking down the street
running just to get there
life is good
life is bad
roses bleed
violets scream
but...the lilies bloom again

Chorus:

people going to see
they're gonna fly
God is good
God is great
Jesus bleeds
the rocks scream
and...we are going to live again

breakdown:
lilies bloom
lilies bloom
I wanna see the lilies bloom
one more time today

Chorus: x 2


Supposed to Be - Summer 1999

A break-up song, obviously. Interestingly enough we later got back together and then I ended it, so maybe I should have been alright with it the first time around to save both of us the pain of the next months.

the time of disease
that swept through me
a day of destruction
a day of pain

it was supposed to be
the one forever
it was supposed to be
the love of a life
it wasn't

I saw you today
and nothing has changed
the pain in my eye
was there just the same

B:
you were supposed to be
the one forever
you were supposed to be
the love of my life
you weren't

a lie for a summer
waited till the end
a lie of my love
burnt down in a word

B:

I saw you today
and nothing has changed
the love in my heart
somehow you didn't kill

I saw you today
and nothing has changed
the love in my heart
I wish you would've killed


Coffee Cup - Summer 1999

sitting in this booth
staring at my coffee cup
seeing her face everywhere
remembering the heartaches
of time gone by

the coffee burns my throat
and the pain collides
both physical and emotional
I hate her for this
I hate myself too

but the pain subsides
like every other time
and I'm left searching
with this broken heart of mine

there's got to be some hope
some hope for tomorrow
and there's gotta be forgiveness
for her from me

I used to carry hate
in a big bag on my shoulder
I used to roll in it
like a pig in mud
but here I sit and sing a new song

tomorrow I'll forgive
and start again
tomorrow I'll forget
and start anew (Repeat)

sitting in this booth
staring at my coffee cup
whishing her luck in everything
the heartache passed away
and nothing is left but hope


Higher Ground - Summer 1999

I wrote a song once
that talked of losing one's way
I felt incomplete
was thinking of letting go
but now things have changed
and I'm on my way

Chorus:
to higher ground
where the grass is green
higher ground
where the air is clean
higher ground
just my savior, my God and me

this road
won't hold me no more
this place
it won't be my home
this person
I've got to let go
and let God
and I'm on my way

Chorus:

this job
it won't control me
this money
it won't be my God
this choice
is mine
and mine alone
and I'm on my way

Chorus:

this word
I will not say
this friend
I will not lead astray
I've done that before
now there's pain inside
but I'm on my way

Chorus: x 2

Melodies Stuck in My Head 3

On My Way Down - Concert Version

At some point you will get the full version of this song, but it was revised Summer of 1999 for a concert that Lazy Sunday performed at the riverfront in Wheeling, WV. I was going to share both versions with you now, but with a quick look through Songbook 1 I couldn't find it, so you'll get the longer version some other day.

Intro:
I've lost my way down this street tonight
and I don't know why
I thought I knew this place
like the back of my hand

1:
I've loved you all my life
but now you have to go away
you were my father and my friend
but now God's taken you away
you were my girl and my wife
but now you say you don't love me
and I'm falling down

Chorus:
Tell me why I'm here
I've lost my way
haven't reached the bottom yet
but I'm on my way

2:
I'm falling through this space
and through this time
and everything else, I've lost my way tonight
help me get back to where I want to be
back to your side and into your love
but I'm falling down

Chorus:

Intro:


Untitled - Fall 1997

welcome to another year
it don't seem that different
'cause nothing has changed
years go by, some faster than others
and we sit here crying over nothing
all that we are
and all that we'll be
compares to nothing that you and I can see
we get older, doesn't everybody
and we sit here crying over nothing

we live together in a world far away
away from nothing except each other
we've loved and we've lost
and we've loved again
we've aged and we've gained
and we've paid the cost
sometimes when we are far away
we walk around with our eyes closed
and we yell at each other a little more everyday

I'm sick of the yelling
and all of the bitching
I'm sick of you and I'm sick of me
patience is a virtue, one I don't have
and hatred burns bright surrounding me
hatred for you and hatred for me
hatred, you see, for everybody


What if I? - Winter 1998

What if I woke and I was blind
what if my life flashed before my eyes
what if I wasn't who I am

I've lost so much I can't get back
to where I was and where it's at
and where we all began

What if I woke and couldn't hear
what if sin was the last thing I did
what if I wasn't who I am

I've been down this road before
it is bumpy and now I'm sore and lost
in the midst of this shame

What if I woke and couldn't feel
what if love was just not real
what if I wasn't who I am

But now I know love is real
God opened my eyes, my ears, my heart
and now I am who I am


Room Temperature - Fall 1999

Inspired by the same girl as Cosmic Love.

sitting alone
in the middle
of this crowded room
heart made of stone
in the middle
of where my life does look

Chorus:
breaking
my heart
killing
my love
hating
my life

blown away
and I can't get back
to where
I was and where
it's at
room temperature

Chorus 2:
breaking
my heart
killing
my love
hating
my life
what's new today


Lie - chorus Summer 1999 verses October 2000

The chorus for Lie was written for Lazy Sunday, which by this time had changed its name to Nevermore, though we never actually performed under that title, or at least I didn't, I'm not sure about the rest of the members, I went back to college in Indiana while everyone else was still in West Virginia, and my friend and I who started the band drifted apart the next year when I stayed in Anderson working over the summer. The verses were written later, inspired by another heartbreak in a long line of "fall quick and get hurt" episodes in my younger days.

I remember a day back
in last November
when we saw each other
with a new set of eyes
no other thoughts and no lies

we walked down the lane
in the soft, sweet rain
we held each other's hands
and each other's hearts
but now a new day is dawning
and you look like you're walking away
and all I have left to say is

Chorus:
would you lie to me
if you don't love me anymore
just lie to me
when you're walking out of my door
please lie to me

I miss the days
when we walked in the rain
and I can't stand
to see you with him
you held my heart together
now you're breaking it

Chorus:

I still remember
the feel of your kiss
and I still hear
the sound of your voice
singing me to sleep
but as you walk away
all I have left to say is

Chorus: x2

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - Part 3: Scattershot Thoughts (Luke 4:31-44)

Let's begin at the beginning, of this section that is, well after I let you know what to expects in the next words, sentences, paragraphs.

This will be the last part of Luke 4, so we'll be moving on to chapter 5 next time, whenever that actually is. In this post we will encounter a few small episodes in the beginning days of Jesus's ministry. These episodes will foreshadow a lot of what is to come in the book of Luke, so you will notice these themes as we continue on our road-trip.

OK, now back to the beginning, well actually a bit before that.

In the last post I talked about Jesus's time in the synagogue where he read from Isaiah, said that he was the fulfillment of the scripture, then told the people they were unworthy of miracles, then the people tried to throw him off a cliff, and Jesus slipped through their midst like he was Ethan Hunt, if you know you know, and if you don't...I don't even know what to say to you.

Episode 1: The Demon Menace

So, Jesus leaves Galilee and travels back to his base of operations, Capernaum. There the people are amazed at his teachings because he taught as someone who had authority, in other words everyone else they heard talked as if they were just talking, and Jesus talked as if he knew what he was talking about. While at the synagogue he encounters a man possessed who told Jesus to leave them alone and said that Jesus was the Holy One of God. Jesus told him to be quiet, which he often does and then told the demon to come out of the man. The demon comes out of the man without injuring him, which must not have always been the case or Luke wouldn't have mentioned it, and then the people are even more amazed at Jesus's teachings.

Do you believe in demons? Then this story should tell you that a) the demon had knowledge of who Jesus was, and yet it was still a demon b) Jesus has power over demons c) here are people who have faith and because they have faith they see miraculous things and tell about them.

Do you not believe in demons? Then this story should tell you that a) knowledge of who Jesus is isn't what matters b) Jesus has power over whatever was ailing this man c) here are people who believe in Jesus and see him as having authority over everything else in the world, whatever else is in the world.

Episode 2: Attack of the Colds

After this Jesus goes to Simon's house...Simon is going to be soon called by another name, Peter, you know he of walking on water, sinking in the water, fighting for Jesus, denying Jesus, the rock upon which Jesus will build his church. There Jesus encounters Simon's mother-in-law who is not feeling well and he takes her fever away.

Wait Peter is married? Does he have kids? What does it all mean? It means that some of the disciples had lives beyond being disciples. It means that they were normal guys, who found themselves in an extraordinary moment. It means that if you are willing to follow Jesus your circumstances will not hold you back, unless you let them. What this tells us in a greater scheme is that Luke wants us to know that Jesus has authority over what he is teaching, Jesus has authority over the spiritual things of this world, and Jesus has the authority over the physical things of this world. For Luke Jesus is a man who is the ultimate authority.

Episode 3: The Reveal of the Extent

Finally, at sundown, the people bring to Jesus all those who are ill or are demon possessed. All night Jesus healed the infirmed and cast out demons while he told them to be quiet about who he actually was. As the sun rose Jesus goes off to a solitary place, most likely to commune with God and to recharge his batteries. I tend to think that Jesus was probably a lot like John Coffey in The Green Mile, whenever he performed a miracle power left him and he needed to rest and relax.

[While it is not the point I set out to make, I think it is very important to remember that in order to give we have to have something to give in the first place. We must be healthy enough to give, we must be rested enough to give, we must say enough no's to things so that we can say yes to other things.]

The people go looking for Jesus, because they miss him and because they want him to stay, but Jesus says "I must proclaim the good news of the Kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent."

[Now to the point I did want to make]

The good news isn't just for Capernaum. It isn't just for your hometown either. It's not just for your church, local or larger. It's not just for your country. It's not just for those who look like you or think like you or vote like you. It has been said before that the good news has to be good for everyone or else it's not really good. I agree with that, it has to be good for you and for others, good for you and your enemies, good for everyone.

In case you haven't noticed, I sometimes think in ways that a lot of people don't, maybe that is a design flaw, maybe its because of my ego or because of my ignorance, but I am beginning to think that maybe its just because I am called to speak to a different group of people. A group of people who don't think the way that those inside the walls of most churches do. A group of people who have been burned or left behind or forsaken by that other group. You see, I talk a lot about Jesus but I often vacillate between faith and atheism, between orthodoxy and heresy, between morality and immorality, between loving the church and wanting to put it in my rearview, between being a pastor and not wanting to be one. And I am beginning to realize that there are a lot of people out there that are like me in some way, I am beginning to realize that we all have more in common than we might realize and less differences than we want to believe.

Last week when I shared my post I said that I guess I'm back...now I know I am.

peace and love,
Kenny

Melodies Stuck in My Head 2

Here we go again...

Diving In - Fall 1999

I jumped into the deep end of the ocean
swam to reach the edge
edge of this world of sin
and edge of myself

Diving in to the water
it's overflowing my soul
diving in to the water
from the eternal spring
that's making me whole

I fell into the deep end of the ocean
falling further from the shore
can't see the sand or the swimmers
or even the lifeguard

sinking under the water
it's overflowing my soul
sinking under the water
from the eternal spring
that's making me whole

he came to dive into the water
to show us the way
so we can be free, free forever
free from all of this sin

walking over the water
he's guiding my path
walking over the water
from the eternal spring
he's making me whole

Coulda Been There - chorus Spring 1999, finished Jan 2001

Most of the "I's" in my songs are literally me, how I see/saw the world, how it makes/made me feel, but sometimes I set myself projects, wanting to write songs about certain topics or from some other viewpoint. This is one of the latter, I wrote the chorus thinking of a particular girl, one that got engaged before I ever met her, but when I got around to finishing the song almost 2 years later, I couldn't even remember her name, so I had to change the perspective from someone pining for a mystery woman to someone who has lost the relationship that they are still in.

I saw you yesterday
on the other side of the street
you were just standing there
but you blew me away
an angel in dress
waiting for a cab
my heart in my chest
waiting for someone like you
then out of the corner of my eye
a twinkling ring in the sunlight lay
on your finger that holds you to another

Chorus:
I wish I coulda been there
when you first got here
I wish I coulda been there
to be the love of your life
I wish I coulda been there
to make you my wife
but someone got there first
someone won while I lost...but that's ok

I saw you today
on the same side of the street
you were standing there
as I passed on my way
an angel in pants
waiting for a cab
my heart in my chest
catching it's breath
thank God I do not know you
thank God we have never met
cause if we had I'd be forced to kill your husband

Chorus:

I'll see you tomorrow
on the side of the street
and I won't care
as we pass on our way
an angel in plaid skirts
waiting for your man
my heart in my chest
pounding for you
the wife I don't know
the wife I've never met
the rings on our fingers the only thing we recollect

Chorus:

cause that one is me

Happy Dome - Fall 1998

walk this way
and talk this way
please pay up front
for you'll never come out again

Chorus:
this is my happy dome
please make it your happy home

Jump up and down
scream very loud
do whatever you want
for you'll love this place forever

Chorus:

Be happy forever
have pain never
be whatever you want
for you'll never remember reality

Chorus: x2

never leave
never cry
never hate
never die

Cosmic Love - Fall 1999

This song was written for a redhead that was in my Chemistry Lab, her name was Nicole, but I only learned that after the fact. She was simply a pretty girl on the other side of the room that looked as if she was a million miles away.

Across the room you sit
you're not really here
are you?
I am consumed by this moment
you're merely drifting away

as you float past stars
and their planets
do you ever think of me
floating in the milky way
so far beyond me

Chorus:
I cry
I sit here and sob
do you realize
my pain

you land on Venus
where your beauty
it belongs
I sit here on Earth
waiting for your return

you're forgetting every moment
you don't remember
you used to care
and sitting here in this
very stony silence

Chorus:

I remember the times
when we sat here
hand in hand
laughing at each other's jokes
falling more and more into love

Chorus:

my pain (till fade)

Walking on Water - verse 1, pre-chorus, chorus Fall 1998, verses 2 & 3 Summer 2003

Here is another one where the "I" is not me, I roughly remember what I was doing 20 years ago, but I can't recall if anyone was the inspiration for the first section, and I know that no one was an inspiration for the second half.

you were the most beautiful girl
I had ever seen
master of my heart in only one day
I stumbled and fell
I didn't tell you the truth
now walking on water ain't the same

pre-chorus:
please girl won't you tell me
how to tell the truth again
how to fall in love again
how to be with you again

Chorus:
Cause walking on water
doesn't mean much to me
no walking on water
doesn't bring me to you
for I'm lost and lonely
and crying on the floor
crying for the love
the love that you gave to me

you were the best wife I could ever have
even though you're the only one
lord and master of my life
I stumbled and fell
I cheated on you
now walking on water it ain't the same

pre-chorus:

Chorus:

You ask me, what I am talking about
what does love
have to do with water?
what I mean to say
is miracles aren't that much
as long as love doesn't come

Chorus:

Melodies Stuck in My Head 1

Have I mentioned that I used to be a song writer? Not officially of course, except for a few months back in my early college years when I was in a band called Lazy Sunday, but unofficially for years, and then I mainly stopped. Lately though I have been feeling a bit of a tug to do two things, a) I want to release my creativity a little bit more & b) I feel the need to share the songs that I once dreamed I would share with the world. So this is going to be Step B, and maybe a little bit of Step A also from time to time.

Every so often I'm going to share 5 songs at a time, just the lyrics as most of the melodies are just stuck in my head, hence the title. These songs were mainly written between 1994 and 2008, a time that covers between my sophomore year of High School through the first few years of marriage.

That was, obviously a time of great change in my life, my views, my beliefs, my language and to that end, a disclaimer: some of these songs may have language in them you don't like, they may talk about things you don't like, they may say and talk about things I don't much like either, but I'm going to share them anyway...if they speak to you great, if they don't great.

Some of them I will tell you the stories behind, some I won't, just depends on how much I remember and how much I want to share on the subject.

One last thing, they will be shared in the order I wrote them out in my songbooks, which is not the order they were actually written in, at least not always.

Anyways, on to the songs if you want to read them.

Peace and Love,
Kenny


Whatever My Name Is - Winter 2000

If I knew
the words to say
to make
you want to stay
I would say them
yes, I would say them

Sometimes I wish
I could turn back time
but all I do
is sit here and whine
I wish I could turn back those hands
but time is done and time is gone

Chorus:
The time from whence
our love came is gone
but I'll find a way to go on
or my name isn't
whatever the hell my name is

I could probably
say I'm sorry
but the words
would come out sloppy
I'm sorry my feelings have changed
but change has come and change is here

sometimes I
remember the pain
sometimes it
hurts me so bad
but I can't take it away
but pain was here and pain has faded away

Chorus:

Bridge: x 2
the time has passed
the pain is gone
the change has come
the words move on

Chorus:

Or my name isn't
whatever the hell my name is
my name isn't
whatever the hell my name is
my name isn't
whatever the hell my name is

Charlie - Winter 2000

So, I went to college at Anderson University and on the second floor of Hartung Hall there was a Bearded Dragon in a large fish tank named Charlie. I would walk past him 3 times a week on my way to and from class and occasionally on other days when I needed to talk to someone who wouldn't talk back.

Charlie
why do you sit there
doing nothing but staring back at me?
Charlie
why do you eat that bug
that is crawling on the ground?

Charlie
your  life is so simple sometimes
sometimes I envy you

Charlie
why do you sit there
wagging your tail back and forth?
Charlie
why do you stare at me
with those eyes buggin out at me?

Charlie
in the scheme of things sometimes
I wish I could be you

Charlie
do you ever think about me
and the way that my world works?
Charlie
do you ever wonder
why we all walk back and forth?

Charlie
do you understand
the awe you inspire in us

Cause I can see clearly now
with you sitting there
I can see clearly now
with the light bearing down on you
I can see clearly now
can you see clearly too?

Sad Face - January 2000

Why are you there with that sad look upon your face?
why are you crying, what's wrong, can I ask?

It seems so long ago
and so far away
but you were mine (were you mine)
just the other day (just the other day)

I don't know what's happened to us
and I don't see how we came to this place

you seem so far away
emotionally & physically
and I can't cry (no I can't)
as the pain ebbs away (as the pain ebbs away)

don't leave me now (this I pray)
don't leave me now (this I scream)
please, please don't leave me now

It's Been a Long Time - Winter 2000

Chorus:
It's been a long time
since I felt so out of place
(and) it's been a long time
since I couldn't place your face
(and) it's been a long time
since I lost my way

You look so great to me
you feel so good to me
your kisses invade my soul
your beauty has captured my whole

but you went away
left me here alone
and it's been a long time
since I felt this way

Chorus:

I see you as you walk away
I lose you with every step you take
those kisses are blowing in the wind
that beauty is drifting away

Now I am here alone
since you went away
and it's been a long time
since I felt this pain

Chorus:

I was Crying - Winter 2000

I don't know what you do to me
but it sends a shot up my spine
I just can't comprehend
but it feels so good...in my dreams

Chorus:
I was crying
just the other day
I was trying
to find my way

B:
Every time I see you it happens
there's just some kind of attraction
I don't even know your name
but I swear I see your face...in my dreams

Chorus:

Every time I see you it happens
babe, I just want to be near you
can I introduce myself?
can we connect somehow?...in reality

B:

Chorus: x2
...to you

p.s. Have you made it this far? If so, congrats. Also, you have noticed that I used to be somewhere on the scale of lovesick college guy, liking a fair few girls and being a complete coward in regards to voicing my interests...this is a theme that will repeat over and over and over again...just so you know.

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - Part 2: The Statement's Mission (Luke 4:14-30)

It's been a minute, hasn't it? Since I've been using a road trip as my metaphor for this conglomeration of blogs I will say that the past few months have been a whirlwind of car issues: a blown tire, a dead battery, a clogged intake valve. But after way too long in the shop or on the way home from the shop or on the way back tot he shop the car is finally out and road worthy, so let's back to this journey.

The second thing [following Jesus being tempted in the desert by the devil] that I come across in Luke 4 is Jesus's first recorded time in the synagogue in Nazareth. We find Jesus entering the synagogue, as was his custom, and standing up to read. To Jesus was handed a scroll from the prophet Isaiah. We do not know how much of Isaiah was contained in the scroll, perhaps the whole book, perhaps just a part of it, but however much it contained Jesus turned to what we know as Isaiah 61:1, 2, or at least most of it, which we will get to in a little bit.

The Spirit of the Lord is on me
because he has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor
He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners
and recovery of sight for the blind,
to set the oppressed free,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor.

Then Jesus sits down, everyone looks at him and he states that in this moment this scripture has come true. At first the crowd is amazed and speaks well of him, until the troll speaks up and says, "Isn't this Joseph's son?" Then Jesus suggests that the crowd will want miracles, like he did in Capernaum, and tells them that they won't see them, and shares two stories, from their own history.

A) he speaks of Elijah and how there were many widows in his time, but he was sent to a widow from Sidon.

B) he speaks of Elisha and how there were many people who had leprosy in his time, but that he was sent to a man from Syria.

This enrages the people and they decide to drive Jesus out to a nearby cliff and toss him off it. Luckily, as you will see from time to time within the gospels, Jesus is a very stealthy kind of guy and he just walks through the angry mob and "went on his way"

There is your Luke 4:14-30 walkthrough, now let's unpack a few things, if you don't mind...

1) As I said Jesus picked these particular verses on purpose, this is no mere chance Bible page flip. Not only that but Jesus edited the Isaiah passage a little bit, and that also is no accident.

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me
because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives
and release from darkness for the prisoners,
to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor
and the day of vengeance of our God

Do you notice the big thing missing from Jesus's reading? Isaiah talks of the one that is to come to both proclaim the year of the Lord's favor as well as the day of God's vengeance, whereas Jesus speaks of proclaiming the year of the Lord's favor and leaves out any mention of God's vengeance. I believe that this is because Jesus's mission had nothing to do with bringing God's vengeance to us, nor stopping God's vengeance upon us, but rather about making us all aware of the existence of God's favor upon us. God favor's us, in our brokenness, in our blindness, in our captivity, in our banality, in our sinfulness...in all those states and more, God favors us.

2) Why those stories, and why the rage that they caused within the people? First off a little difference between Nazareth and Capernaum: Nazareth was a very Israelite area and Capernaum was not. A question arises as to Jesus's origin, in other words, how can this man says things like this, he's just the local carpenter's kid, how can this man claim what he claims, it's the one who threw mud on the teacher, or kissed your daughter, or son, or cussed, or drank, or did whatever rates in your eyes as to make him/her lesser. Many of us has been Jesus in this instance, attempting to move beyond where and who we have come from while others are trying to remind us of our limitations.

So, as my Church History Professor, Dr. Froese would say, Jesus pricked them. He told them two short stories about how two prophets, men chosen by God to speak for God, had been sent not tot the hurting and needy in Israel but were rather sent to gentiles and God's power and grace shown upon them. In the same way Jesus is telling the people that God's power and grace has been shown among the gentiles in Capernaum but would be hard pressed to shine among those in Israel. I think that the main reason that Jesus could and did do miracles in certain places and couldn't  and didn't do miracles in other places has to do with the expectations of those in his midst.

The people who couldn't let go of the past, couldn't let go of the origins, couldn't let go of the limitations missed out on the wonders that were available. The people who did not grow up in the traditions and stories and legends, who didn't expect anything from God, nor expect God to do anything particularly for them were shown things far and above what they thought even possible.

The takeaway:
From this friends I would ask you to do two things, first remember that God favors you no matter your situation, be it ideal or far from ideal; secondly allow God to be God, to do what God will or will not do, and let go of all those things that can hinder God, your past, your expectations, your requirements.

Peace and Love,
Kenny

Storm Steps

Anyone need any refreshments? Cause we are about to take an exit ramp on our little road trip:

I have a friend who is going through a rough time right now. Well, actually they have been going through a rough time for quite some time and thought that they had finally started to see sun-rays breaking through the cloud cover, instead though what was breaking through moments ago disappeared as a new influx of storm clouds swooped in. My friend doesn't know where the sun went, or why it went, or if or when it will ever come back. I understand what this friend is going through better than I would like to admit, I've been there before, stuck in the place when you thought you were on your way out. Since I've been there before I want to offer a little advice to my friend and to other friends, lovers, acquaintances and strangers who might be going through the same or similar thing.

1) Don't give up hope, no matter how hopeless it may seem, the same wind that brought the storm in WILL send the storm out. I know, I know, believe me I know, it may not feel like it will, but it will. There will be a day, and its probably coming sooner than you think, where you will look back on the storm, and look back on the eye of the storm that you thought was the end, and look back on the actual end and think, damn, I'm all right.

2) Focus on this moment, this breath, focusing on only this moment will be the most difficult thing you can learn to do, it may also be the single most useful thing you could do. If you act like you've always acted, the same things will happen, act differently, change your focus, narrow it, right now you are seeing things you can't understand, can't fix, and possible can't even handle, stop looking at it. If you can master only looking where you can and should look, amazing things will start to happen.

3) Once you focus on this moment, begin to focus on the next, the next moment, the next breath, the next step, you don't need to know the final destination, you can't anyway, the final destination ends up changing a million times every hour, all you need to know is the next step, as Martin Luther King Jr. would say, that is faith. And in every facet of life faith is important, and I mean that independent of your views on God, every person has faith, some in a higher power, some in the sun rising, some in themselves, some in mathematics or scientific proofs, but we all have faith and more importantly we all need to have faith, I would argue that we were made that way by God, but you can just say evolution created a need for faith in the hairless monkeys if you prefer.

4) Find someone to talk to, to let it out, be that a person, God, or even yourself, and keep looking if the person you find doesn't show you grace, grace is of utmost importance in the storm, because you're going to make some mistakes, and some of those mistakes will seem like the right thing to do in the moment, forgive yourself, but get rid of anyone who is not forgiving you.

5) Breathe. Just breathe. In every moment breathe. This is you breathing. This is you still breathing. Repeat that as much as you need to, let it become a mantra that is automatic. Breathing will calm you down when angry. Breathing will lift you up when down. Breathing brings you life and energy. Rob Bell, a guy who was officially paid as a pastor and is not any longer, says that the literal word for God is actually the sound of breathing. Rob says that when we are born, the first thing we do is say the name of God, and we die when we can no longer say God's name. There is something strong and comforting in that idea, so remind yourself that you are breathing, if you would like remind yourself that you are constantly saying the name of God. As long as breath is coming into and out of your lungs there is still a chance that things might change, and in truth that chance is 100%, change is constant and if you are waiting for something to change, just give it a little time my friend, it will.

Peace and Love,
Kenny

Let's get back on the road, shall we?

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - Part 1: Temptations [Luke 4:1-13]

You might have noted that the title of this particular post is Part 1. This is because as I was looking at Luke 4 I realized that I had absolutely no desire to cover everything inside it in one post. I felt this way because I didn't want to have to cherry pick one thing and leave a whole lot out, nor did I want to write one really long post, so these next 3, or perhaps even 4, posts will all cover Luke 4. To that end, we begin in the desert.

And why wouldn't we? John has recently been in the desert. Further back the Israelites were also in a desert, in a time before God allowed them to enter into the land that was prepared for them. I tend to think that Jesus was also about to enter into a land that had been prepared for him. I do not know what made the 1st Century world the best place for Messiah to enter into the drama that is life on earth, but it obviously did its job since we sit here, 2000 years later and we are still talking about Jesus, perhaps more so now than we ever have. But let's get back to the desert.

Jesus was baptized in the Jordan by John and then Luke says that he was filled with the Holy Spirit and that the Spirit is what led Jesus away from the cities and towns and crowds and religious elite and everyone that would soon want a piece of him and into the wilderness, into the desert. Luke says that the Spirit led him around the desert and that the devil, Satan, Lucifer, punk, whatever you want to call him would tempt Jesus. Toward the end of his 40 days without food in the desert the devil once again comes and tempts Jesus. The devil starts with the base need of the moment and tells Jesus to command the stones to become bread. Next the devil offers Jesus power over all the kingdoms of the earth. Finally the devil suggests that Jesus should jump from the pinnacle of the temple to have the angels catch him.

I want you to take a second and think about these specific temptations, base needs, power, and protection. First off I want you to think about what these temptations would look like in your life, what is THE base need you want in your life, where or when is it that you would like power in your life, what is it that you would like protection from? 

Ok, now that you've thought about these temptations in your life, think about them in Jesus's life. Think about how over and over again throughout the gospels where Jesus's life would have been easier had he had his base need met, had he taken power, and had he been protected. Let's start at the end.

Imagine how things would have been different if Jesus called on the angels to take him down from the cross? Imagine the songs you wouldn't be singing on Sunday mornings, imagine the cross that isn't hanging from your neck or on a wall in your house, imagine what Jesus would mean to you if he hadn't sacrificed himself. The devil asks Jesus to jump and Jesus says that you shouldn't test God, in essence Jesus says don't test God, trust God. Jesus asks for the cup to be taken, but he accepts it when it isn't. 

Now, imagine if Jesus had been the Messiah that all the people had been expecting. Imagine if Jesus had come riding on a horse and kicking Rome's ass. Imagine how strong you might think Jesus was, how powerful you might say he was, and how scared of Jesus you would probably be. By allowing people to make up their own minds, both for and against him, Jesus shows us a whole different kind of power. He shows us a power where obedience is not forced, where love is not coerced, where peace is actually peace and not just the cessation of hostility. The devil offers that which is not his to give and Jesus says if it means not treating God like God I don't need it.

Finally, THE base need, imagine if Jesus choose the easy way in each situation. Imagine if Jesus had just been a vending machine God, dispensing everything that both he needed and everyone else needed. Imagine how cheap blessings would be, imagine how cheap goodness would be. The devil offers Jesus a chance to get fed and Jesus tells him that food is only one aspect of what we need and without the spiritual aspect the physical will soon pass away.

Well, there's part 1, next in Luke 4, Jesus's Mission Statement

Peace and Love,

Kenny

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - But First Some Water [Luke 3]

Whew, sorry about the length of that pit-stop, I really didn't think it would last that long, but just when I thought it was time to get back on the road Luke needed some more snacks and to use the little's boy's room. But we are finally back in the car and we can now continue our road trip.

I don't know if you ever realized before but the first couple chapters of Luke feel a bit like a teeter-totter. We go from John to Jesus to John to Jesus to John to Jesus. So we follow up the Christmas story by returning to John, this time as an adult in an out of the way place acting out of sorts, at least according to those in charge. You see John is out in the desert preaching against the old religious ways, calling people to repentance and baptizing them in the waters. Interestingly enough John seems to mainly be talking about monetary repentance.

I say this because He starts by talking about religious people needing to bear fruit and then when people ask for more explanation he tells them to give away their extra shirts and food, when tax collectors ask they are told to stop overcharging people, when soldiers ask they are told to not extort money and to be content with their pay. According to John bearing fruit looks a lot like being fair, being generous and being content with the things we have and the way we treat people. The rulers, both religiously and governmentally, found this to be problematic. Unfortunately too many still do.

John, and then later Jesus, preached generosity, but the voices in our lives speak more about what is yours and how someone, somewhere is trying to take what is yours. John, and then later Jesus, preached about being fair with others, you know, doing unto them as you would want done unto you, but the voices tell us that we better get our chunk of the pie before someone, somewhere else does. John, and then later Jesus, preached about being content with what we have, and even living in joy with less, yet the voices tell us that we should want more, that we should Just Do It, that we should YOLO...of course later on Jesus will say something along the lines of if you seek your life you will lose it and if you lay it down you will gain it.

So, John goes out to the desert and preaches and baptizes and does such a good job that people begin to wonder if John is the promised Messiah. John sets the record straight on that one, saying that the one that is coming will baptize with fire, all John has to offer is water. John says that he isn't even worthy to untie the sandals of the one that is coming, which is funny because the one that is coming would have had no problem untying John's sandals if John needed them untied. Even to the one who was speaking in the wilderness, preparing the way, didn't quite understand who or what the Messiah was actually going to be. [This is a thought that we will hash out much more in the coming weeks, months, and if I keep this current writing pace up, years]

Luke then puts a comma in John's story, saying that he preached using other fiery language until he spoke out against Herod and was subsequently thrown in prison [spoiler alert: his prison sentence doesn't end well]. But then he backtracks and realizes that he forgot some rather important details, Jesus came to be baptized by John. John baptizes, Jesus prays, a Holy Spirit dove descends, and the voice of God speaks, saying, "This is my son, in whom I am well pleased."

From here on out Luke is decidedly a Jesus story.

Until next time,
Pastor K

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - An Extended Christmas [Luke 2]

So...Christmas.

I don't know about you out there reading this, but for me it is a strange thing to have to think about Christmas at the end of May, when it has been in the 90's. In addition it is strange to put yourself in a Christmas mind set when there are no songs on the radio, no decorations in the stores, no complaints about what people are required to say to you in way of a greeting. But, in the end I suppose the lack of all of that actually makes this more of an original Christmas feeling, after all the "trappings" of Christmas came hundred's of years later. So, perhaps it is right and good that I am about to talk about Christmas when it has been in the 90's.

Luke's Christmas story begins with governmental oversight interrupting a pregnancy. I can't begin to imagine any aspect of what a woman goes through during pregnancy, but I especially can't fathom what it must have been like for Mary to get her butt up on an ass for the journey to Bethlehem. I imagine that most other Messiah-mom candidates would have put an end to the whole endeavor right then and there. But Mary, the dutiful bride to be/mother of the savior to be does her duty and accompanies Joseph along the sandy paths to Bethlehem. Once there they find that there is no room in the inn, which was most likely just someone's house, but they are given/find some amount of space among the animals because when Jesus is born they place him in a feed trough.

While Mary has been journeying the rest of the world has been going about its business. Imagine that, Christmas is happening and no one is the wiser. Bakers are baking. Farmers are farming. Business people are conducting business. The government is working through the tedious census that will account for the Israelites so that they may be taxed by Rome correctly. And Shepherds are shepherding. Well, until an angel appears in their midst. Then it hits the fan.

The shepherds have been watching and waiting, not for an angel, not for good news, but rather for the crack of a branch, for the muffled sound of paw on ground, for danger, for disaster, for death. It's unsurprising that in that particular state of mind the Shepherds are frightened upon the "sudden appearance" of the angel. Then the angel speaks, and it speaks the most used statement in the Bible, "DO NOT BE AFRAID!" It tells them that Messiah has come and that they get to have the front row seat to a whole new era of life.

And friends, that is what Jesus brought, a whole new era of life. He says as much himself later when he tells his followers that he has come that we may have life and have it to the full. No longer must we walk through each day have living and half dead. We can be awake in every moment, feeling everything within us and around us and among us. We can live. Yet, all these years later we are still trying to figure out what the Jesus was all about. He was about LIFE.

So the angel tells them this news and then a whole choir joins the first angel and they all get down in the first Christmas song, singing glory to God and wishing the world peace. Glory to God. Peace on Earth. Yet, all these years later we are still trying to figure out what God wants. God wants our PRAISE and for us to be in PEACE.

So, the angels sing and leave and the shepherds decide to leave their flocks behind, a decidedly in shepherd thing to do, and rush to town where they find Mary and Joseph and the baby. The shepherds relay the story and Mary takes it into her heart, then they go back to their flocks in the fields.

8 days later.

Huh? What? 8 days later? Is that really what we are doing here Doc?

8 days later, Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to be circumcised. Then after some more time during which Mary observes the required [by religious law] post birth ceremonial days, Mary and Joseph bring Jesus to the temple to present him to the Lord, along with the required [again by religious law] sacrifice of "two turtledoves or young pigeons."

While at the temple the new family encounters two old people, Simeon and Anna, Simeon is a man in touch with the Holy Spirit [side note: the Holy Spirit is very important to Luke, especially in the second act of his two act story, Acts], in fact he is so much in touch with the Holy Spirit that he has been told that he would not die before seeing Messiah. He sees Jesus in the arms of Mary and immediately knows that this is the one he has been waiting for. He picks up Jesus and blesses God, then he tells Mary how Jesus will cause the RISE and FALL of many.

At that very moment Anna, a prophetess, appears on the scene. She was a widow after only 7 years of marriage, now 84, Luke tells us she was deeply devoted to God, always in the temple, fasting and praying. She comes close to Mary, Joseph, and Jesus and she starts speaking thanks to God and goes on from that place spreading the news of Messiah to all who would listen. Then the young family leaves Bethlehem and returns to their home in Galilee, where Jesus grew in physical strength and in wisdom and where the grace of God rested on him.

12 years later.

Huh? What? Again Doc?

12 years later, the Mary and Joseph are on their annual trip to Jerusalem in order to celebrate Passover, and this time 12 year old Jesus accompanies them. After several days in Jerusalem they once again set out for Galilee, one day into their journey home Mary and Joseph realize that Jesus isn't with them. While this is shocking for us to think about, back then people traveled in large groups of friends and family and so this is a caravan of people who journeyed to and from Jerusalem, Jesus could have been playing with cousin Fred or riding on Aunt Martha's donkey. Upon learning that their son is not with them they hurry back to Jerusalem.

Luke tells us that they had been separated 3 days when they finally find Jesus, so one day of travel, another day of travel back, and a third day of searching. They find Jesus in the temple in a discussion among the religious leaders. The leaders and those around were astonished at the depth of this 12 year old boy, his mother on the other hand was simply being a mom, asking him why he treated them the way he did. Jesus's reply, "You should have known." He tells them that he had to be about his father's work and they are confused. The virgin told by angel that she was going to give birth to the Messiah is confused about her miracle son's father. It just goes to show you that while Jesus was the son of God he was also a boy, who most likely gave his parents the same grief that our children give us.

We begin with obedience to the government, we move on to obedience to religion, and we end up with a 12 year old boy that will soon turn all of that on its head. But at the base we are left with LIFE, PRAISE and PEACE that inevitably leads to the RISE of some and the FALL of others. This is important friends, because while some seek life others will hold on to their half lives. While some praise, others will keep silent. While some seek peace, others will long for conflict and war and death. While some rise, others will inevitably fall.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - Birth Announcements [Luke 1:5-80]

On one hand you have a woman who has struggled through years of infertility, on the other you have a girl who hasn't even worried about getting pregnant. This is often the way God works, with the unable and the not ready. And if God can work miracles in those who have given up hope and in those who have no expectation of a miracle, then God can work miracles in anybody's life, including mine, including yours.

Zacharias was a priest from a priestly lineage married to a priestly woman. In the course of his duties he is visited by an angel, which I assume was not a regular occasion, which I assume because the angel first words to Zacharias is "Do not be afraid." The angel goes on to tell Zacharias that his wife, Elizabeth, is going to have a baby and that this baby would make way for the coming Messiah. Upon hearing this news Zacharias does what I myself probably would and questions the angel. Because of his doubt the angel strips Zacharias of his ability to talk until the baby is born.

Zacharias was in the holy place for a long time and the people waiting for him began to grow alarmed, when he finally came out he gestured and had a look upon his face that everyone could tell something had happened to him, but they did not know what. The now deaf Zacharias went back to work to finish out his shift and then finally went home to his wife and at some point Elizabeth became pregnant. Interestingly enough at no point in Luke's account does it say that Zacharias went home and told Elizabeth what he had been told by the angel. So, Zacharias is visited by an angel, told his wife will become pregnant, doubts it, loses his voice, and goes home in both literal and proverbial silence.

[Small Aside Warning: If you ever want an interesting Bible study just start looking at all the times in the Gospels where people either are told not to tell what happened or simply don't tell what happened. It almost makes you wonder how the story got passed down in the first place.]

Elizabeth, the priestly woman who was infertile until she wasn't had a cousin named Mary who was to be married to a man named Joseph who was descended from the great king David. 6 months following the events between Zacharias and Elizabeth an angel appears to Mary and tells her that she has found favor in the eyes of God. Mary thinks this is a weird introduction but allows the angel to continue. The angel goes on to tell Mary that she will become pregnant and give birth to a baby who will be the Messiah. Zacharias questioned the plan, Mary merely questioned how it would happen. The angel tells her that the Holy Spirit would come upon her and impregnate her. Her response to all of this was a simple statement, "I am the Lord's servant."

Zacharias and Elizabeth had been praying for a child and when they are promised one Zacharias's response is "Why should I believe you?" To a large extent it seems that Zacharias was praying for something that he thought was beyond what God could or would do.

Mary was simply going about her life and when she is told that she is being chosen for such a burden as bringing the Messiah to life, she says "Sign me up." To a large extent it seems that Mary was ready for whatever God would do in her life, and I do mean whatever.

There is a gulf of difference between those two lives and responses. The musical Hamilton, by Lin-Manuel Miranda,  has caused many people to ask themselves if they are a (Alexander) Hamilton or a (Aaron) Burr. Hamilton was someone who was constantly working toward what he wanted out of life, choosing a side and forging ahead, Burr was constantly waiting to see what life would bring him, waiting to see what the outcome would be before he choose a side. Today, I think the question we need to ask ourselves is, are we a Zacharias or a Mary? 

Do we, like Zacharias, pray for God to do something without believing that God will, and when God does show up we question if it is real?

Or do we, like Mary, live life in expectation of God working in us and through us and around us, waiting to say yes to God?

I wish I could give a different answer, but in honesty I am probably much more likely to act like Zacharias than I am to be like Mary. I doubt much more than I sign on the dotted line, I waver much more than charge ahead.

As the story continues Mary and Elizabeth meet up the baby inside of Elizabeth leaps with joy at the closeness of the baby inside of Mary. Elizabeth can tell what is going on in their lives and praises God for how God is working through Mary and how Mary has welcomed the workings of God. Mary responds in praise to God and in an understanding beyond her young years that because of what she has done her name would always be remembered.

Mary stays with Elizabeth and then Elizabeth gives birth, she says the baby will be named John and upon the loosening of his tongue Zacharias confirms the naming of the baby. The story of the birth spread like wildfire so that all wondered what this little baby boy would become. In response Zacharias praises God and speaks to what God is doing in the world and what will be in the coming years.

Luke chapter 1 ends with a small look at John's life, about how he lived a life full of the spirit and a life outside of society in the wilderness, until the day came for him to step out of the shadows and into the light. Shadows and light, angels and miracles, doubt and trust, birth announcements that changed the very course of the world.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - A Second Prologue [Luke 1:1-4]

Before we get to John and Jesus and everything that will come after let's begin at the beginning folks. And in the beginning Luke tells you what every pastor and theologian and scholar should always tell you, "I am not the first one to tell you about these things." Luke deftly tells the audience what they already know, other people have written about the people, places, and events that Luke is going to write about. What this does is instantly give credence to what Luke is going to say because most of it you have already heard before.

And when I say "heard" I mean "heard" because, more than likely, the gospels existed as an oral story before they ever became a written one. I don't know if you have ever heard the gospels in their entirety out loud, but if you haven't I suggest that you download an audio version of the Bible or just look one up on YouTube, it can be dramatic or straight forward, either way you are going to experience it in a different way than if you just read the words or hear it in bits and pieces on Sunday morning, or Saturday night, or whenever you happen to find yourself inside the walls of a church or in front of a T.V.

After that, rather long, 2 sentence aside let me get back to the point, Luke is not telling this story in a vacuum, and neither is anyone else, including myself. What this means is that there is a wealth of other sources to compare and contrast. For the gospel of Luke there is the other 2 synoptic gospels [Mark and Matthew], the non synoptic gospel [John], non-canonical gospels [Thomas, Mary, etc.]. For me there is about 2000 years or so of preaching and teaching and writing on all things Jesus. In particular I come at Jesus from a Wesleyan Holiness tradition [Church of God, Anderson, IN], and am a firm believer that faith should be shaped by Scripture, Tradition, Experience, and Reason [otherwise known as the Wesleyan Quadrilateral]. In addition I hold three concepts very close to my heart in relation to the church, that it should be a place of real people, real faith, real love [which you can read about in a set of blog posts that start here.]

What I set out to write here, much like Luke, is to help move the story along, I am not the first, I will not be the last, but I play my part in the production willingly.

Luke does go on to say that he has a perfect understanding of all things from the beginning, while I, on the other hand, am about as imperfect as you can find in a "pastor". As I confessed to friend a month or so ago, I am a spectrum, some days I'm a great guy, other days I'm an ass. Because of that my understanding is in no way perfect, but I'm going to share it anyway, in hopes that it speaks to you in the same way that Luke speaks to me.

I find quite a few things interesting about Luke, but one that I find the most interesting is that while Luke talks about "things that have been fulfilled" he doesn't introduce his subject matter in explicit terms. In Mark's first sentence he calls it the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In Matthew's first sentence he starts with a genealogy of Jesus Christ. Even John starts his off with In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. Luke on the other hand doesn't mention the name Jesus until verse 26.

So Luke starts off by saying I'm not the only one who has written about this, but my understanding is perfect so I'm going to write about this, but I'm not going to tell you quite yet what I'm going to write about.

I kinda love that!

Depending on the scholar Luke is either writing to a particular person, Theophilius, or to a group of people, because Theophilius literally means God-lover, in either case Luke is writing to someone(s) who has been taught about what he's going to speak about already, just like all [or at least most] of us have been. As I stated in that other prologue, in my own journey I have already preached through all of Mark and all of Matthew, so here I am coming at Luke having already known some of the others who have taken it upon themselves to write accounts of what has been fulfilled. I know, but I come wanting to know more.

I pray that is why you come as well, because you want to know more. Because you hope that by reading my thoughts something may be sparked in your own mind that lets you move into a deeper place. That's what I'm after, a deeper place. A deeper place of understanding, and a deeper place of question, because in my experience new understanding always brings new questions. A deeper place of peace, and a deeper place of unease, because in my experience unease always follows peace. So often we long for the peace and understanding and flee from the uneasiness and questions, but I believe that they go hand in hand. At least they do for me, and maybe some of you, or maybe one of you, out there are like me.

Well, friends, that seems like a good stopping point for our First (second) installment, next week I'll be back with some birth proclamations and then the week after we get to celebrate Christmas all over again. [and maybe, just maybe, for those of us in the Midwest there will not be snow for 2nd Christmas]

Peace and Love,
Pastor K

Road Trippin' with the Doctor - A Prologue

How would you like to spend about a year together?

I do not know your answer to that question, well unless you comment here or on the tweet or Facebook post that will inevitably follow the completion of this particular blog post, how else would you find yourself here to read that question in the first place? Anyway, before I lose the plot too badly, let's go back to that year thing...

I've been on a mini-sabbatical from this blog, partly because, once again I found myself stepping away from the physical pulpit and wondered if this blog should be retitled or deleted or what. But, I still have a little card in my pocket that I pay $40 a year for that says I am still a pastor, plus as my wife would tell me and others I seem to pastor people all the time, whether I want to or not, so the name is staying.

Another reason for my mini-sabbatical is because if this blog does exist I wasn't sure what it's purpose should be, just randomness, I've done that before, some main thrust, I've done that too, or something else entirely. I gave up on the something else entirely because that would have required way too much thought and creativity, which led me to randomness or particularity. Randomness can work, as I said I've done it before, but even in the times when this blog has been random it has had a certain order to it, even if that order existed only in my mind. But, life is still a little more random than it used to be and I began to think that I would like a "something" to focus on. To that extent I landed squarely on doing some main thing on this blog. That was about a month ago.

So why the wait? I couldn't figure out what that main thing should be. I have been schooled in the church and church related things, so that was an obvious angle, but knowing that may have limited me from a universe of possibilities but it still left me with at least a galaxy of possibilities, if not several galaxies worth. Next I narrowed it down to the Bible, but again I was left with 66 possibilities. That was three weeks ago, right around the time I turned 40.

Then two weeks ago as I sat in church listening to a sermon on Acts it was brought to my attention by my Pastor, who happens to be my wife, that the guy who wrote Acts wrote the gospel of Luke. Now, I already knew this, I was taught it in church and in college and in seminary, but I realized it in the larger scope of my life. You see when I first became a pastor in Linton, the kind that preached every week, I set my anchor in the gospel of Mark, preaching through it chapter by chapter. Then when I found myself a pastor yet again, this time in Elwood, I set my anchor in the gospel of Matthew [my favorite gospel, fyi] preaching through it chapter by chapter, and in some cases verse by verse, sentence by sentence, or even word by word. And here I find myself at another beginning in my life as a pastor and it all makes perfect sense to set my anchor in the gospel of Luke. As I said, that was two weeks ago.

Which catches us up, well almost. I still had to think of whether or not I should begin and end in Luke, and after much thought I decided that I would not. I would begin in Luke chapter 1 but I will end in Acts chapter 28. So if you add together Luke's 24 chapters and Acts 28 chapters you come up with 52, which incidentally is the amount of weeks in a year...so why did I say "about a year"?

That answer is the easiest one of all, my goal is to post weekly, but it won't always happen, there will be hard weeks and birthdays and anniversaries and holidays and vacations and sickness and untold other things that will happen in my life and the lives that surround mine so I may not hit that weekly goal, but I promise that if you keep showing up I will too, until it's done.

One last question and answer and you can get back to your evening, or morning, or afternoon or night. Why this particular title, Road Trippin' with the Doctor? First off, I like it. Secondly these two books are a journey from before the first breath of Jesus's life to the first breath of the church and beyond. We will encounter stories both well known and hardly known. We will follow followers that don't follow very well. People will fall down dead and others who are dead will live again. There will be the miraculous and the mundane. There will be the holy and the ungodly. That all together sounds like one hell of a good time to me, that sounds like a journey I want to go on, so I am, I'm going with Luke, who happens to be a Doctor, so obviously I am Road Trippin' with the Doctor...come along if you would like, there is always room on the journey for a few friends, a few acquaintances, a few strangers and even the occasional outsider and enemy who hopefully won't be by the journey's end.

See you next week for the beginning.

Peace and Love,
Pastor K