The Heart's Cry: Psalm 138

Psalm 138

My first thought was, I'm not sure I got a praise Psalm reflection in me right now. Then I read it again, and again and on the third reading I was struck by something. While the first two stanzas seem to be praise in the moment for the blessings of the moment, the final stanza seems more like clinging to hope that God will show up, though whether or not God is here currently may feel up for debate. I say may feel up for debate because I know, as I have repeated often in these reflections, that God is always here, always in the moment, but even though I have that head knowledge, and occasionally that knowledge flows to my heart and soul, I still sometimes question whether God is there. It's those atheist moments that I think we all have, those moments when we cry out "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me".

Part of me feels like I should apologize for using the term atheist as something that someone who believes may occasionally feel, but I'm not going to. If I'm honest there are times when God does not seem particularly close, moreso, there are times when I wonder if I'm just spinning my wheels on the hamster wheel of faith. If you don't ever feel that way, you have my permission to stop reading right now, not that you need it, you are here by your own free will after all. But, if you do know what I am talking about, if you do feel that way from time to time, let this be good news to you that you are not alone, you never have been and you never will.

The thing about faith is that it is a belief in things unseen, which means sooner or later you may question the fact that you aren't seeing what you are believing. What's interesting is that Jesus references us in the Gospels when he says that greater faith have those who have not seen and yet believed. The other interesting thing is that Jesus says that it only takes a little faith to move a mountain, so even if you feel that your faith is miniscule, it can still do mighty things, among them it can move the mountain of your disbelief. Weird, isn't it? Faith can cause you to doubt and faith can turn your doubt away, this is the beauty and the trouble with faith in the first place.

If you find yourself stuck in the middle of an atheist moment, don't despair this is not the end, if you don't want it to be.

+ Do you have atheist moments? How do you handle them?