Psalm 32
Finally a Psalm about forgiveness!!
I needed that.
There is nothing like forgiveness, but the way we get to forgiveness is through confession. While I would never want to be a Catholic priest, hearing confessions all day I wouldn't mind if there was a protestant outlet that was very much like what Catholics have. Luckily we can confess straight to God [not saying that Catholics can't] but I think there is just something about the idea of confessing our sins to someone who will respond out loud. Because while I believe that God hears my confession and that God does indeed forgive, after all the Bible says that God will not only forgive, but forget, sometimes it would be nice to physically hear 'I absolve you of your sins.' It is for purely selfish reasons that I long for such a moment, because while I believe God forgives me, sometimes getting forgiveness from myself is much more difficult.
The fact that I withhold forgiveness from myself is highly disappointing. Because while I believe God will forget I just can't seem to, I remember my misdeeds and I hold onto them, much like the couple in the Garth Brooks' song I bury the hatchet and leave the handle sticking out. And from time to time I pull that hatchet out and bury it in me again and again and again. I believe in forgiveness, I believe, as I have heard, that when we forgive someone we set someone free and find out it's ourselves. I believe that when I do not forgive another I am the one who is encased in chains, chains of anger and regret, and so I try to free myself from that burden. But, again, forgiving myself is so much harder, the leniency I freely give to others I cannot/will not give to the man I see in the mirror. And so, when I pray for forgiveness I also pray for the strength to forgive myself, sometimes God helps me and sometimes God doesn't but I still believe God consistently forgives, and maybe one day I will forgive myself more consistently also.
+ When was the last time you asked God for forgiveness? Do you believe God forgave you?
+ Do you find it easy or hard to forgive yourself? Do you have any advice on how I can do it better?
No comments:
Post a Comment